Interview Season Is Almost Here: A Calm Plan for Interview Day

This is the last piece in my summer series for parents of quiet kids, and it’s the most practical. Across Needham and the surrounding towns, the fall private-school interview season is nearly here — many families will be scheduling visits and interviews over the coming weeks. So let’s talk about the day itself, because a lot of how a child shows up is decided before they ever sit down.

Start with scheduling, where you have more control than you’d think.

If your family is interviewing at more than one school, put a school your child cares less about first. The first real interview becomes live practice for the one that matters most — there’s no substitute for the real thing as a warm-up. Book interviews for the start of the day when you can, while your child is fresh, rather than after a full day at their regular school when they’re already worn down. And if it’s at all avoidable, don’t schedule two in one day. It’s a lot to ask of a child.

The morning of, keep things normal. The temptation is to make the whole morning about the interview — a last review over breakfast, a pep talk in the car. Resist it. Go about your usual routine as much as you can. The day is different, but it doesn’t need to feel like an exam is bearing down. You want your child rested and like themselves, not primed and anxious.

When you arrive, give yourself plenty of time for traffic, but don’t get there too early — about fifteen minutes is plenty. A child sitting in a waiting room for half an hour has nothing to do but let nerves build. If the school offers a tour with a current student or parent, take it; it’s a gift. It eases your child into a new place before anything formal begins, and it’s wonderful low-stakes practice at exactly the curiosity interviewers love. Have your child — and yourself — ask lots of questions of whoever’s showing you around.

When it’s time for your child to go in alone, keep that last moment light. Something like, “Have a great chat — see you in a little while.” Nothing in the goodbye should raise their anxiety. And here’s a reminder I gave countless nervous families: the room is on your child’s side. It is the interviewer’s job to draw a child out. We walk in already knowing not every kid will have the perfect answer ready — we’re in the business of helping a child show their best self. The person across that table wants to like your child.

When it’s over, don’t pounce. The instinct to ask “How did it go? What did they ask you?” the second they walk out is irresistible, and worth resisting. A simple, warm “I’m sure you did great” is all it needs.

That’s the whole plan. Notice how little of it is about answers. By the time your child walks in, the preparation is done — the rest is just clearing the path so the real child can come through.

It’s been a pleasure writing this series. If it’s helped, I’ve pulled the fuller version of everything — including all fifteen questions your child is most likely to hear, each one decoded — into a free guide for parents of quiet kids. You’ll find it at the link below. Wishing you and your child a calm, genuine fall.