The Menace Of Bullying: What North Andover Parents Say

NORTH ANDOVER, MA — An informal survey of Patch readers in New England shows great concern among parents about the extent and severity of bullying their children experience in school and online. Almost nine in 10 parents said their child had been bullied at least once, and nearly half said the bullying had occurred frequently.

In North Andover, 4 parents responded to the anonymous survey, all saying their children had been bullied, either occasionally or frequently. One parent said bullying was so bad that their child did not want to go to school, take the bus, or participate in school activities.

The district has a lengthy policy on bullying, but survey respondents did not think there was adequate enforcement. "Not doing enough. No follow through. Blaming the victim," one parent whose child is bullied sometimes said.

A "joke," said another. They "hide under the radar, minimize."

One parent also described a failure to protect those who report bullying from retaliation.

"Kids who go to talk to adults find themselves in 3rd degree. Bullies know who they are and gets worse unfortunately," they wrote.

Parents left little doubt as to the consequences of unchecked bullying, saying bullying causes anxiety and dislike of school.

Bullying "has affected education, emotional development, and safety," said a parent whose child has faced occasional bullying.

It has a "strong and negative" effect, said another, a parent of a frequently-bullied child. It causes "anxiety, [low] self worth, scared children."

Parents said they understood that bullying is a tough problem, but they found the response inadequate.

"I feel there will always be a culture of bullying in schools, there's no way to eradicate it totally, but without repercussions and punishment (ie, no more suspensions or detentions), it will continue to get worse," one said.

Another parent urged the district to take the issue seriously.

"Educate themselves more, ongoing. 'Own' the huge problem. Don't put child who get the courage up to talk with adult in position of being known to their bullies. Help them feel its ok and validated, versus playing it down," they suggested.

Patch has undertaken extensive coverage of the bullying issue in The Menace of Bullying: A Patch Advocacy Reporting Project.

The regional parent survey, timed to coincide with National Bullying Prevention Month in October, was posted on more than 100 Patch sites in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. The survey is not scientific, but could be considered a broad indicator of parents' feelings about the seriousness of bullying in their schools and communities.

Take the Patch bullying survey

As of Tuesday, Oct. 15, over 500 parents across the region has responded to the Patch survey. The key findings were:

• Nearly 90 percent of parents said their children had been bullied at least once, and nearly half -- 47.9 percent -- said bullying had been frequent. Only 10.8 percent said their children had never been bullied.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.

These informal findings should be compared to statistics compiled in more scientific surveys, which note that:

• Bullying affects 1 in 3 U.S. schoolchildren (NoBully.org)
• 59 percent of U.S. students experience cyberbullying (Pew Research Center)
• 160,000 kids stay home from school every day to avoid bullies, National Association of School Psychologists

To comment on this story, email bullies@patch.com. And to learn more about bullying prevention, visit Patch partner NoBully.org.

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From the experts

• 'The Anti-Bully': Talk And, Especially, Listen To Your Kids
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