"Do I have to friend grandma?" Moms Talk Addresses Online Privacy Within the Family

Moms Talk is a new feature on Reading Patch that’s part of a new initiative to reach out to moms and families.

We invite you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in Reading.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council takes your questions, gives advice and shares solutions.

Our Moms Council is comprised of Alicia Botticelli-Tarasuk, mom of one boy and one girl, both of whom attend Wood End Elementary, Meghan Cogswell, mother of a first and a fourth grader at Wood End, and Erin Calvo-Bacci, who has three daughters, ages four, eight and ten.

Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community will have a new resource for questions about local neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.

Our first conversation starts today with a question about online privacy within the family:

"Do my kids have to add their grandma or uncle on Facebook?"

Erin Calvo-Bacci:

Thankfully my kids are too young to have a Facebook account, but when they are of age and have an account I will respect their choice. I have a daughter I’d imagine this wouldn’t be an issue for, another who might want to add an aunt, but not her grandmother and then another daughter who would friend the devil himself. There is a definite difference between a parent monitoring their children’s computer activity and relatives who want to crash “social parties.” I suspect I’ll be eating these words in a few years, or less if my mother reads my response. 

Alicia Botticelli-Tarasuk:

Right off the bat I have to chuckle at this one, my niece just went through a bit of this. I feel that, if your child under the age of 18 has a Facebook account, the parent should absolutely have them as a friend in order to keep tabs on what your child is posting and what others are posting on your child’s wall. I don’t, however, feel that the child should have to have his or her uncle or grandparent or whomever else as a friend if they choose not to have them. I think the child should have the right to accept who they want as a friend.  In no way does that mean they don’t like their extended family; it just allows them to continue on with their social lives 2011 style.  As long as the parent is a friend and can see what their child is writing, then I would think the child can accept or not accept another family members “friend request”.  Oh and by the way, just because one is not a child anymore, does not mean this is not an issue for them either. I know many adults who don’t want to friend aunts or uncles or moms. Just something to think about. 

Meghan Cogswell:

I would say that, with the role the internet plays in our children's lives, that the more eyes on them the better.  However, sometimes teenage kids may not want their entire extended families knowing everything about them. So, I think it is your call on who they "friend" on Facebook. At the very least, I would think a parent should be their "friend" so you are aware of what they are doing.