Police Log Humor: What The Duck?

We realize that police business is serious, but every once in a while there are entries in the local police log that make us chuckle.  We thought we’d share them.

Police received a report of a plow truck stuck in a snow bank near the intersection of Main Street and Bethesda Lane.

Does this seem deeply ironic to anyone else? I’ll give most drivers a pass on getting stuck in a snow bank; roads are slippery, and most of our vehicles weren’t built for arctic tundra. But a plow truck? They’re supposed to make the snow banks, not get stuck in them.

A Beech Street resident reported finding a sick or injured duck in the resident’s driveway. The resident said she would search for someone to adopt the duck.

I think we have a legal case for loitering, here. This duck should have flown south for the winter months ago.

A Main Street man reported that he had been threatened by his roommate after a dispute over the television remote. He reported that it was a verbal dispute only.

What were they watching to trigger this dispute? I hope it was Jersey Shore. Or a Lifetime movie. That would be funny, too.

A Woburn Street resident reported finding large footprints all around her house. Police confirmed that the resident had large footprints all around her house. They also noted that the house next store had been toilet papered.

Is this a case of missing the forest for the trees, or missing the elephant in the room? How does one notice footprints in the snow, but not toilet-bowl streamers on the house next door?

A Washington Street resident reported a suspicious man in her front yard. Police checked the area. An officer found no footprints in the snow and determined that the suspicious man was actually light reflecting off an icicle.

Well, it still could have been a cold-blooded killer, right?