Should we blame parents for the laziness of their kids?

Should we blame the parents?

Last week, I talked about some feedback I got from students in my grade 11 English class. The kids were asked to discuss in blog format what they believed to be the biggest struggle of their generation (often termed Generation-i). Their responses were interesting to say the least.

As we discussed here before, many kids believed their major hurdle was overcoming their laziness. My first response was to throw my hands up in a “hallelujah!” Maybe these kids actually realized that the label my generation had given them was accurate.

But, I had to stop myself. Didn’t my parents think my friends and I were lazy? And then I wondered, what did my grandparents think of Mom and Dad? Lazy? The phrase, “kids these days” rang in my head. Then, “I had to walk 3 miles in the snow uphill to get the bus!” Just yesterday, I told my groaning son, “you’re lucky, when I was your age, I had to mow a lawn three times the size of this one!”

The creed through the ages has been to ensure the next generation has it better than the previous. Growing up, I had one toy box for six kids in my home. My two boys have a toy room. I had three phone units hooked to a wall.  No answering machine or voicemail. Now, my family has three phone units on a landline and then there are three cell phones too.  I went on two major vacations in my young 18 years (both to Iowa to see relatives). My boys take one trip a year.

This discussion left me wondering who is lazier, Generation-i, or those of us raising them? With the advent of super fast technology and the ability to truly give our kids far better than we had, are we dropping the ball and creating a culture with kids who will become the sluggish adults of tomorrow?

As one shrewd student put it, “I feel as though the biggest issue our generation faces is the transition into adulthood. Today, youth are handed everything on a silver platter. We are taught everything, never left to learn for ourselves. If we are too lazy, for many of us, our parents will fulfill our every need. We are coddled, and then thrown into the world for college and our careers. No wonder the national depression rate is on the rise.”

Have we reached the proverbial goal to provide the best for our kids and in doing so are actually falling short in giving them what they really need? After all, it seems chores are a thing of the past, allowance is given to kids based on their ages and not on any tangible contribution, and every material desire is fulfilled. Their closets, bellies, and game consoles are full. We are termed “helicopter parents” for a reason. We want to avoid any pain (emotional, physical or otherwise) for our children. Isn’t that what good parents do? According to the student above, because she is given everything and is fully protected, she isn’t prepared for the real struggles that await her. 

This past weekend, I was discussing this issue with some other adults. They bemoaned the lack of work ethic and interpersonal skills of the young hires at their respective companies. They come in late and leave early, are put off when professional dress is requested, and have difficulty writing clear emails. We nodded our heads and wrung our hands in disgust and disdain.

But in thinking more about it, surely the mantle of blame cannot be placed solely on the members of Generation-i. Perhaps we need to bear some of the responsibility for what we find lacking in them. Perhaps we need to readjust that outdated notion that to be good parents we need to give more and make it easier. Perhaps, in order to create a better, more dependable Generation-i, we need to give them less, and demand more.

What do you think?