What's the Difference Between Feeling Hopeless and Being Suicidal?

I took a week off from the blog because I was stunned silent by a recent suicide of a locally well-known man. I couldn't stop thinking about it as I had known him as an acquaintance. I have been bewildered. There was no room for any other thoughts of consequence. Any topic I could talk about seemed trivial when compared to the death of this young dad.

The Shrewsbury area lost another man to alleged suicide a few weeks ago. What's happening that people feel so hopeless that ending their lives becomes the only choice, even when leaving school-age children behind? What issue could possibly merit ending one's life and leaving loved ones grasping for understanding and wading through possible reasons? Money problems? Marital strife? Loneliness? Fear? What?

I'm no stranger to the feeling of utter desperation. After the births of both my kids, I experienced severe post-partum depression. It was the Brooke Shields-Marie Osmond type--I spent hours strategizing on how to either get on an airplane and get away from the baby or just how to get myself from the bed to the shower. It was debilitating to say the least, and while I was in it, I saw no way to climb out. And though I felt hopeless in many ways, the idea to end my life never crossed my mind. 

Perhaps somewhere in my core, I knew others (family, neighbors, friends) would "cover" for me while I scratched my way back to mental normalcy. Maybe these two men didn't think others could buoy them up, even though I'm sure those closest to them were ready to do whatever it took to help them. Perhaps the stigma of failure, depression or fear was too much to overcome. When will we start accepting these things as part of the human condition and detach shame from them?

Who knows? I deeply hope that we are not becoming so disconnected from each other that we can't see when someone is in dire need of support. I often saw this young dad around my neighborhood at his place of business. He had a perpetual smile and wave. I had no idea of his apparent pain. When I scrolled through his Facebook page, there were innumerable entries expressing gratitude for his support and encouragement of others. How could a man who was so beloved feel so alone? This is a mystery to me.

If you, or someone you love, shows any signs of dire hopelessness, there are many resources. You can call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or go to their website.

For a list of signs and symptoms go The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's website.

You can view the following video for some perspective as well here.

Please comment below if you want to share your experiences or shed light on the baffling choice to end one's life.  Please share any other resources for those contemplating suicide or suffering from the loss of  a loved one.