Whole Lotta Nothin'

With TWO blogs written, published and tucked nicely under my belt, I am still considered to be - amongst those in larger, more” important”  blog-writing circles - just a green, unproven blog rookie. I may not have written a whole lot about the things I’ve seen, the feelings I’ve felt or the opinions I have, but I will. You can bet on that. Now that I’ve discovered a new passion in writing down everything I feel about a particular subject, whether it’s relevant to what’s happening in the world around us at the time or not, you’re in for a treat. Sort of.

That said, I was pondering which of the several subjects I would chime in about this week, and honestly confess that I had some trouble coming up with just one. With so many things happening this week in the news - from the horrific tragedy in Aurora, Colorado to the awful stench of child molestation still wafting from beleaguered Penn State University to the almost-laughable political catfight between Chick-fil-A and Mayor Menino to the exhilarating, eye-popping opening ceremonies of the London Olympics … and so on. You get the point. With my head about to explode from all the possibilities, I decided that I would write about nothing in particular. That’s right; I’m going to tell you a whole lot about nothing. You’ll see what I mean.

First, I want to talk about Karma. It’s a mean world we live in, unfortunately, and unless you spend your days reading Highlights for Children and watching Katy Perry videos, you’ve probably taken notice that not everybody around you can be pleasant all the time. Neighbors, co-workers, cab drivers, cashiers, waitresses, friends, gas station attendants, professional baseball players, even dear ol’ grandma … they can be Mr. Rogers one minute and Cruella de Vil the next. It happens. But I’ve always maintained that good things happen to good people - - which, to those of you who enjoy digging deep and read into things, also translates into “Karma is a bi*ch.” And it is. Simply stated, if you’re nice to others, nice things will happen to you. If you aren’t nice to others, well, not so much, most of the time. In my younger days, my mom would warn me that God was going to punish me whenever I did something mean-spirited, like call another kid names or cut the hair off my sister’s Barbie dolls. This was mom’s way of saying “Karma is a bi*ch." In all honesty, I couldn’t possibly count the number of times something DID happen to me following her warnings - a fall off my bike, a bee sting, a twisted ankle , etc. So much so that it has become part of my nature: ‘Be nice, or you’ll get what’s coming to you.’ That’s KARMA. Let’s take professional baseball players, for example:

Jason Varitek, the beloved Red Sox catcher who captained his team to a long-time-coming World Championship in 2004 and again in 2007, was honored in a pregame ceremony before the Red Sox-Blue Jays game on Saturday 7/21. Adored by Boston fans for his rugged play and exemplary leadership, Varitek is as nice as they come, He is also well-known for his leading role in perhaps the last great baseball brawl - the infamous Sox-Yankees brouhaha that transpired at Fenway Park on July 24, 2004. To recap, the Sox were down 3-0 in the top of the third when Bronson Arroyo plunked Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez. The reigning American League MVP stared out at Arroyo and began shouting at him when Varitek placed himself between them and kindly suggested he quiet down and keep moving (OK, not really. But this is a family column, you know). A-Rod quickly turned all Cruella de Vil on Varitek so, with his mask still on, ‘Tek shoved A-Rod in the face. The dugouts and bullpens emptied … and it was on. After the dust settled, the Sox win the game in dramatic bottom-of-the-ninth fashion, turn the season around and win their first World Series title in 86 years. Karma 1, A-Rod 0.

Back to 2012. Jason Varitek has his big day in the Fenway sun on July 21 and three days later a Felix Hernandez changeup breaks A-Rod’s left hand. The date? July 24 … precisely eight years to the day following that brawl with ‘Tek. Think Karma is a bi*ch? You bet it is. And there’s your proof. Karma 2, A-Rod 0.

Next, let’s talk about the weather. Specifically, the last few weeks. I tell you, either Mother Nature is suffering some serious hot flashes - first, last winter’s record-shattering warmth and now, this summer’s record-shattering drought - or El Nino and his sister finally left the country for good after having themselves a pretty good romp. I follow the weather fairly religiously, so I’ve learned that when a weatherman’s tweet starts with “Now, don’t shoot the messenger, but …” it’s not going to be pretty. And so far this summer it hasn’t been. Know what’s pretty? Green grass. Lush gardens. Rich, moist bark mulch. A full birdbath. I got none of those. My grass is yellow, my birdbath is dry and my gardens have all but disappeared. I haven’t mowed my “lawn” in exactly a month, but who’s complaining? I’ve saved myself some money on gas, and I’ve been spending my spare time doing other things ... like pulling huge, spider-like clumps of crabgrass out of the sandbox. Or … is that my lawn?

And, finally, I want to speak about a couple of recent annoyances. Nothing monumental, you see, just two things that annoyed me this week that had nothing to do with mosquitoes or Carly Rae Jepson. First, it was brought to my attention tonight that a friend’s young son was recently given a stern verbal lashing by local cops for - get this - chasing Canadian geese at one of the Dean Park baseball fields. He wasn’t brandishing a baseball bat, nor was he armed with a sand wedge, billy club or AK-47, he was just doing what normal nine-year-old boys do … and he’s treated like a criminal. Geezus. It doesn’t matter now whether the cops saw him running after the geese themselves or if someone dialed them up on their cell phone, because it’s ridiculous all the same. Silly, absurd and ludicrous. Can’t a boy be a boy anymore? Apparently not, and that’s too bad. If it were me with the badge, I’d have told the poor kid to chase the stinkin’ dirty birds all the way back to Canada.

Another thing that has me annoyed is the “new” Cisco set-top HD DVR cable box that SELCO brought me a couple of months ago to replace the other new Cisco set-top HD DVR cable box that SELCO brought me a couple weeks earlier to replace the old one I had. Got that? Don’t get me wrong, SELCO is great - believe me, they’re the best around for price, value, customer service and tech support - but I feel they’ve really swung-and-missed with these new HD DVR cable boxes they’ve been handing out lately. Does anyone agree? For one, there are several HD channels that don’t come in at all (including ABC Family HD, one of our favorites) and lately it seems like I’ve rebooted the darn thing more times than the old IBM desktop computer that my dad refuses to get rid of. Channels are freezing, if they come in at all, and it’s only happened in just in the past six months or so. Annoying.

But in true “glass-is-half-full” style, I’m going to make due and tune in to channel 370 - ABC Family HD - and just watch a whole lotta nothin’. Because, sometimes, nothing can be nice.

Unless you're a bird from Canada.