A Lie Is Just The Truth Waiting To Be Itself

Former First Lady Betty Ford’s son spoke recently at a memorial for his late mother, founder of the Betty Ford Center for alcohol and drug addiction treatment in California. Mrs. Ford’s courage to speak out about her own addiction forever changed how the condition is viewed and treated. Her son told about the moment when he admitted that he is an alcoholic. “Oh no, not my son,” she exclaimed. He answered, “Mom, you can’t be in denial, you’re Betty Ford!”

Regarding alcohol and drug use, the issue of truth and honestly with one’s self and others takes center stage. Have you noticed yourself spending more time and energy on activities that are necessary to obtain, use, and recover from substances? Do you tell people what they want to hear (“I haven’t had a drink in weeks, it’s no problem!”), tell people what you wish were true (“I can stop whenever I want!”), or tell less than the whole truth (“Really, I only had two beers!”)? Are you telling yourself the same story?

Confronting denial (inability to see the truth of a problem) is an initial step of recovery. The foundation of recovery is, not coincidentally, the first step of Alcoholics Anonymous: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.” People begin to use drugs and alcohol for the usual reasons: to relax, to have fun, to be part of the group, to be accepted. The urge to use however, for chemically dependent people, surpasses all other urges.

People with addiction issues struggle to have open, honest relationships. Things are said and done that destroy trust and damage relationships. The addiction becomes as important as, or more important than, other people. Trust can be lost in an instant, but it can only be rebuilt over time. Has addictive behavior affected the trust between you and people you care about?

For relationships to be truthful, it is necessary to be committed to honesty about ourselves. To engage in a relationship with anyone is to commit oneself to the truth insofar as it affects the relationship. Living a lie is more far reaching than telling a lie. When one lives a lie, it pervades one’s whole existence, especially relationships. Recovery from addiction is impossible without truthfulness.

Resources:

Alcoholics Anonymous Central Service Committee of Eastern Mass, 617-426-9444.

For family and friends affected by addiction of others: Al Anon Family Groups of Mass, 508-366-0556.