The Value of Spokes In Your Wheel of Support (Part 1)

There is considerable evidence to show that talking things through helps reduce stress, and that the positive activities we experience with others define what makes us truly “happy.” Having a supportive group of personal contacts is a valuable asset. Consider sources of help available to you and realize the importance of developing a range of “helpers” rather than depending on just one or two people for everything. Support can come from friends or those sympathetic to us, but it is also important to be challenged. Someone who can make us face things can actually help us examine our ideas and actions in a positive way.

Changing behavior when necessary is easier when you have positive, supportive people to spend time with. For example, if you are choosing to become more physically active and the people in your life eat poorly and seldom exercise, it is likely challenging to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you are around them too much. At times the people close to you will be supportive and other times they will appear resistant if you show signs of change.

Build yourself a “wheel” of support.

Imagine it as a bike wheel with many spokes. Your goal is to add as many spokes (the spokes represent support people and resources) to your wheel as possible. If my wheel has only one or two spokes, what will happen? Of course it will collapse under pressure. A one-spoke wheel is not good for any person to depend on, and the situation is particularly stressful for the spoke itself. With time, it simply can not hold the weight.

Ask yourself:

• Who can I depend on in a crisis?
• Who can I honestly discuss my concerns with?
• Who can recognize my strengths and make me feel valued?
• Who can give me information I need?
• What resources are available to me through my employer or healthcare plan?
• What community resources are available in my area?
• Is there a support group (don’t forget internet) which might meet my needs?
• Who will challenge me and help me face things?
• Who can I share good times and experiences with?

People who are connected to others, to their community, to nature, to themselves and to their own sense of spirituality appear to be healthier than those who are isolated. Isolation has been identified as a significant health risk. Could you make a commitment to increase contact with others by calling, visiting, or inviting them out to coffee? Too often, especially during times of stress, we cut ourselves off from connections which could be helpful.