Holiday Dos and Don'ts for Divorced Parents: Co-Parenting Tips to Help Create Happy Holiday Memories for Your Children

Divorced parents need to make an extra effort during the holidays to create happy memories for their children. Attorney Craig Silverman, a senior attorney with Pollack Law Group, P.C., who handles divorce and family law cases, offers helpful co-parenting tips to help divorced parents and their children enjoy the holiday season.

By Craig Silverman, Senior Attorney

Pollack Law Group, P.C.

SOUTHBOROUGH, MA (Nov. 21, 2014) – With the holidays upon us, it’s especially important for divorced parents to work together to put the interests of their children first. This may mean adjusting the parenting plan in your divorce agreement, or being more flexible with visitation days, times or pickup and drop-offs. The most important thing is to make sure your children get to spend quality time with each parent and their respective families.

Ideally you and your former spouse will be able to work this out together amicably. Try to give each other as much advance notice as possible as to family parties and special holiday events that you want your children to attend so schedules can be adjusted accordingly. If your child’s school or church is hosting a holiday play, pageant, concert or other special event, make sure the other parent knows and has all the details so he or she can attend.

It’s also important for both parents to encourage their children to give cards and gifts to the other parent, whether helping the child make something or taking the child shopping so he or she can pick out a special gift. Remember: it’s the thought that counts. This also shows your child that you support his or her relationship with the other parent, regardless of your personal relationship with your ex-spouse.

Here are some other co-parenting tips and reminders to help make the holidays go more smoothly:

Do:

· Review your parenting plan to see if it includes language about holiday arrangements.

· Be willing to compromise so children get to spend time with both parents during the holidays.

· Discuss holiday plans with your ex-spouse ahead of time and share these with your children.

· Coordinate plans to avoid conflicting events and duplicate gifts.

· Help children select or make gifts for the other parent/grandparents.

· Talk to your children about the upcoming holidays, explaining what will be different and what will be the same.

· Create new holiday traditions, especially if your family recently experienced the divorce.

Don’t:

· Leave holiday plans up in the air, which can lead to confusion, conflict and concern for your children.

· Fight about who gets to see the kids and when, or tell children that “Santa won’t know where to find you” if they stay with the other parent.

· Argue about minor issues, such as pick up and drop off times.

· Try to make everything perfect. That creates stress for everyone.

· Throw out all of your holiday traditions. Determine which are worth holding on to, or which you would like to change.

· Compete with you ex-spouse when it comes to holiday events, vacations and gifts.

· Be lonely. If your children are with the other parent on the holiday, celebrate with other relatives or friends.

The holidays are a time for making memories, so try to work with your former spouse to create happy memories for your children. You’ll be sending a positive message to your children, while helping to ensure a less-stressful holiday season for all involved.

For additional information, watch our video Co-Parenting After Divorce: Plan Ahead for Parenting Time for Holidays and Vacations.

About Attorney Craig Silverman

Attorney Craig Silverman, a senior attorney at Pollack Law Group, P.C., is an experienced divorce and family law attorney with a proven track record in the handling of divorce, child custody and support, alimony and spousal support, modifications, parent rights and other family law matters. With more than 16 years of experience, he is a seasoned litigator and has experience as a mediator and Collaborative Law practitioner. He is a graduate of Salem State College and the New England School of Law.

About Pollack Law Group, P.C.

Pollack Law Group, P.C. is one of the largest divorce and family law firms in the region, with nearly two dozen attorneys, paralegals and other professional staff serving clients across New England. If you have questions or concerns about spending time with your child during the holidays, contact Attorney Silverman or any of our experienced divorce and family law attorneys at 844-POLLACK. Or visit us online at PollackLawGroup.com.