The Menace Of Bullying: What Wilmington Parents Are Saying

WILMINGTON, MA — An informal survey of Patch readers in New England shows great concern among parents about the extent and severity of bullying their children experience in school and online. Almost nine in 10 parents said their child had been bullied at least once, and nearly half said the bullying had occurred frequently.

In Wilmington, 10 parents responded to the anonymous survey, with no respondents saying their children had never been bullied. Two parents said bullying was so bad that their children had to leave the district, while others said their children do not want to go to school.

Respondents said they don't know what policies the district has, or that Wilmington has a strict bullying policy, but they didn't feel they're followed closely. "Awful," said one parent of the district's policies.

"A joke. They talk to the students but really it is brushed under the rug and there is no paperwork filed," said one parent whose child is bullied frequently.

"There is way too much bullying going on and not being taken seriously enough," said another, who said the policy is "never applied."

Parents left little doubt as to the consequences of unchecked bullying, saying bullying causes anxiety and dislike of school. One also reported that at the middle school level, "kids know they can get away with it so it continues."

Two parents said that their children are no longer in the district due to bullying, while several others said their kids do not want to go to school.

"It affects their confidence and feeling of safety," said one parent whose child is occasionally bullied.

"I know my child doesn't want to go to school," said one.

Bullying has caused "Fear of going to school, anxiety, low self esteem, effects grades, depression [and] nightmares," said another parent.

Parents called on the district to take the problem more seriously, specifically by following through on bullying investigations and applying the bullying policy. "Hold kids accountable," said one parent.

One parent said they had to take the problem into their own hands when they did not address bullying affecting their child.

"Hold the bullies and their guardians accountable. Schools should be held accountable," the parent said. "I made the school accountable and made sure that it was clear that I would take legal action if they do not address the issue which impacted my child. I also had no issue with outing the bullis publicly if the parents did not take responsibility and if their children continued bullying."

Patch has undertaken extensive coverage of the bullying issue in The Menace of Bullying: A Patch Advocacy Reporting Project.

The regional parent survey, timed to coincide with National Bullying Prevention Month in October, was posted on more than 100 Patch sites in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. The survey is not scientific, but could be considered a broad indicator of parents' feelings about the seriousness of bullying in their schools and communities.

Take the Patch bullying survey

As of Tuesday, Oct. 15, over 500 parents across the region has responded to the Patch survey. The key findings were:

• Nearly 90 percent of parents said their children had been bullied at least once, and nearly half -- 47.9 percent -- said bullying had been frequent. Only 10.8 percent said their children had never been bullied.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.

These informal findings should be compared to statistics compiled in more scientific surveys, which note that:

• Bullying affects 1 in 3 U.S. schoolchildren (NoBully.org)
• 59 percent of U.S. students experience cyberbullying (Pew Research Center)
• 160,000 kids stay home from school every day to avoid bullies, National Association of School Psychologists

To comment on this story, email bullies@patch.com. And to learn more about bullying prevention, visit Patch partner NoBully.org.

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From the experts

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