Even the Rats Don't Want to Live in Detroit

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Considered in tandem, a pair of reports measuring quality-of-life issues in Detroit have all the punch of a late-night comedian’s opening monologue:

“Even the rats don’t want to live in Detroit.”

It’s a joke, OK? Detroit’s gritty comeback spirit is inspiring, truly – no joke.

Still, it’s at least worth a facepalm that back-to-back reports tout Detroit as the best (if you want to avoid vermin) and worst large city to live (if you want overall livability).

Seriously, don’t ever call Detroit a ratty city.

Bloomberg crunched U.S. Census data from the American Housing Survey and found that Detroit is the least rat-plagued among 25 major U.S. cities. The study, conducted every two years, looks at a wide range of quality-of-life issues that affect where people live, including vermin infestations.

Detroit’s ranking was “somewhat surprising given the blighted condition of the city’s housing stock,” Bloomberg wrote.

So, you’d think that with this marvelous rat-free existence – did we mention that, comparatively speaking, Detroit has hardly any cockroaches, either? – people would be migrating to the Motor City in droves.

Way to rain on Detroit’s rodent-free parade, WalletHub.

The personal finance website said Detroit is the worst city to live in based on 31 key metrics, including the quality of health and education systems, economic growth and tax rates, but apparently excluding a low incidence of rat’s nests. More results can be found here.

By the way, Seattle, WalletHub’s fifth-most utopian place to live, is also the rattiest, according to Bloomberg’s analysis.

Go figure.

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Photo via Flickr