Yearning for More

Dear community friends,

This long weekend of honor and remembrance brought with it a beloved gift for our family: my husband, Ben, was home with us for three consecutive days!

When I write "with us," I realize I am referring to Logan, Paige and myself. The reality is the three of us spend almost all of our time together. I don't even need to calculate the hours. They are bountiful. Which is great for me and the kids. However, I am crushed that Ben and so many other dads end up marginalized in terms of time spent together as a complete family. And I am determined to change this.

As a full-time mom with two small children at home, and an actor with a varying schedule, I still feel bound by the ubiquitous Monday through Friday, 9 to 5 schedule. In spite of the delicious freedom of unstructured days for Logan, Paige and me, and the joy of my time spent working and creating at the theater, our family time remains disappointingly defined by Ben's life in the corporate world.

We are extremely grateful for his job. Basic necessities such as paying for our house, groceries, clothing, etc. obviously require his income. He commutes to Dearborn every day, which is part of the challenge. It is difficult not to imagine how we might spend those "extra" 10 hours per week he is on the road (playing, painting, writing, baseball, music, etc).

And yet, I am not satisfied to merely envision a nice job for him in town, and to win back those "extra" 10 hours of commuting time. I have a more expansive vision, a more utopian view, in which our family is together much or—dare I say—most of the time!

We love to be together. Weekends are a blast at our house. There is a natural ebb and flow of getting projects done around the house, running errands, playing together, exploring parks, playing sports, time for individual pursuits, writing, reading, getting organized, chores, fort-building, and creating art. No one is burned out, no one is watching the clock, no one is counting down the hours until 5 p.m. or 7 p.m., or Friday evening. Logan and Paige are more content. Ben and I both feel more peaceful and connected, and everything just works.

What if every day were like this? No more clock-watching. No more living and breathing and longing, while waiting to live and breathe and be present together in some future moment. No more scrambling to figure out how to fill those long afternoon hours with some activity, some mother's helper, some distraction to fill what is at its root a yearning to reconnect as a family. 

How can we make this happen? Well, wisely, I am instead in search of who's. Author John Strelecky, life coach, inspirational writer, and world-traveling speaker, advises people to find others who have made lifestyle changes to realize the five most important things they want to do, see or experience in their lifetime. One of my "big five for life" is for our family to spend as much time together as possible. And I believe there is much more possible than the corners and edges that are left in our present schedule once corporate life takes out its significantly intrusive 9 to 5 chunk.

So, we are actively searching for who's. We have been doing so for nine months, ever since attending the fabulously inspiring 14th Annual Rethinking Everything Conference in Texas last September. I look forward to sharing with you, dear friends, more about our family's experience at this life-changing event in future posts. For now, let me focus on the revolutionary idea that pursuing one's "big five for life" leads to joy, contentment, connection, and yes, even income.

Are you someone who does what you love, and loves what you do?

Do you spend as much time with your family (and dearest friends) as you wish?

Have you restructured your life to create time and space for everyone in your family to discover their passions and live out their deepest desires?

We want to connect with you, hear your stories, and share inspiring ideas for change that will bring families together more. And we want to create more time to spend with our tribe of friends, as an extension of our family.

Ben is exploring his creative dreams, working on entrepreneurial pursuits, and actively connecting with other who's in order to be "with us" as a complete family. We are all part of this process. We invite you to do the same.

Perhaps we can be a "who" for you as well!