When to Leave Kids Home Alone – Part 2.

When my older one was about 10, I left him home alone just long enough to drive my younger one to a practice. This allowed me to avoid the inevitable “do I have to go with you?”, which I was just too lazy to confront. By the time he was 11, I could leave them both and run an errand or two (as you know, it’s easier to run the errands without kids – that’s the lazy parent way!). Now I feel that I can go out for a couple of hours, and that breeds a new found sense of freedom (and laziness) for all of us!

I don’t, however, like to be out too late if they are home alone. I try to be back by bedtime. When I’m on the way home, I call and let them know it’s time to get ready for bed. (This can only happen if the kids are already able to get themselves ready for bed. Lazy parents like me would rather not be involved.)

From what I understand, and I need to verify this, the legal rules for leaving your kid(s) home alone go something like this.

• Under age 12, the parent is responsible for anything the child does.
• Over age 12, the child can be held responsible.

So, if the kid goes outside and throws a rock at the neighbor’s window, well, now you know who’s going to pay for it.

I still have to research the age at which leaving a child home alone is considered endangerment. And if you leave them enough food and water, how long is too long?

What? Doesn’t everyone think of their kids as pets that only require food and water? Or is this just the lazy parent way? In any case, this is what I mean by "food and water":

If I will be gone only an hour (well, it usually turns into an hour and a half, but that’s standard for me), I make sure they have been sufficiently fed – even if it’s only 3 p.m. This means I have to do a little work to be lazy. They will have eaten a meal and also have healthy snacks available as well as something to do to keep them out of trouble. (Sometimes it’s homework and practicing piano, sometimes a video or TV. Rarely is it computer time, unless they are doing a school project.)

That said, a friend with four kids does not leave her oldest (11) in charge – even for a brief outing. She fears the oldest would not know what to do if the youngest (5) had a problem, or might not even notice if there was a problem. I know her kid,s and I agree. In that case, I might take the youngest one with me and be lazy about the others by letting them fend for themselves – but not for longer than it would take to drop a kid at practice or pick up a prescription, at the drive-through pharmacy (Lazy parents love these!).

Making sure they know what to do when you’re gone is a key step on this journey to new freedom, and I will address this in a future post. Meanwhile, what is the longest or latest you have let your kids stay home alone? How did it work out?

Disclaimer: I am not a trained therapist or teacher. My opinions are my own. If they help you - great. If you don’t like them, read something else. What works for me may not work for you. If it does, that’s wonderful and I want to hear about it. If it doesn’t, don’t blame me: every kid is different.