Proposed Restaurant Bill Is For The Dogs!

Proposed Restaurant Bill Is For The Dogs!

Michigan, the Mitten State, is known for beautiful, pristine beaches, numerous verdant golf courses, abundant cherry and apple crops, ski resorts, expansive sand dunes, and of course Mackinac Island to name just a few of the delights that hearken millions of people every year.

Now maybe we can add something else to this impressive list -- dog-friendly restaurants!

Yes, you read that correctly.

Portage Senate Republican Margaret O'Brien sponsored a bill which will allow restaurant owners with outside dining facilities to welcome dogs with their owners. The bill was just approved by the Senate 32-4 and has now moved to the House where approval is expected.

For canine lovers, it is inexcusable to leave Rasputin at home while its owner enjoys an epicurean delight at a favorite Michigan dining facility. Better to leave Grandma at home with a bag of Cheetos and the TV remote than to abandon “man’s best friend”.

Consider, if you will, a typical evening in your favorite restaurant under the new law. You are seated next to Kujo and his master. While you peruse the menu, Kujo is voraciously lapping up a bowl of Evian water, pausing only momentarily to eye longingly a female French poodle that is enjoying a liver pate at a nearby table.

As your platter of chicken arrives, Kujo now looks menacingly at legs and thighs -- not what's on your platter, but your legs and thighs!

Evidently he is not a vegetarian, is hungry and only the watchful eye of his owner prevents you from becoming his appetizer!

Minutes later, as you attempt to make your way to the restroom, you feel like a soldier trying to avoid land mines, but these "special surprises" were painstakingly left by Kujo and his friends.

Perhaps O'Brien is trying to appease a bloc of voters who love their animals as much as she loves their votes.

Let's not stop at dogs, though. Shouldn't pony lovers be accommodated?

One of my friends raises emus and I'm sure that would be an interesting dining experience to see these two-legged, long-necked birds wrestle food off of adjoining tables.

Well, time to go. A friend of mine just called with an emergency. Seems he was dining with Rover at a local Mongolian restaurant. Unexpectedly, Rover had to answer a scatological calling in the restroom but first had to meander through the kitchen and unfortunately hasn't been heard from since.

Waiter, hold off on my beef kabobs!