Riding The Waves

This past weekend, my family and I discovered how much Brady loves to ride the waves.  He loves the feeling of sitting back and enjoying the way the water gently pushes the boat through the smooth, quiet waves of his grandparent's lake. Loves the bumpy ride of the boat plowing through the waves at top speed.  He loves the way the wind feels against his sweet face and the little drops of water that spray him as the waves roll up.  All of it.  The whole ride makes him smile.  The ups and downs of a boat ride.  The bouncing ride when the boat is crashing through the waves and the smooth ride through a no wake zone...Brady enjoyed it all.What makes Brady's experience on the boat this weekend so remarkable is that he sat still.  He didn't fuss with the life jacket, as my daughter did for so many years and so many boat rides.  He sat back.  He sat back in a seat.  Cuddled up next to his dad.  He smiled.  He enjoyed.  He paid attention to his surroundings.  He smiled.  He found peace.  He did so many things that he normally struggles so mightily with.

My four year old son Brady, has a very rare chromosome duplication on his first chromosome.  The extra piece of chromosome is not the problem.  It is all the challenges that have resulted because of this itty bitty piece of chromosome.  Brady is hypotonic, nonverbal, cognitively impaired and struggling with ADHD that has made concentration and focus next to impossible.  These are Brady's challenges.  Most days, Brady spends his time trying to calm his nerves and his sensory issues by chewing on a hose or twirling his hair as he travels from one end to the other of our backyard.  He is a happy boy.  He is content with the life he has right now.  But as his parents, my husband and I struggle with Brady's lack of concentration and focus on any real activity.  Brady never, ever, sits still.  From the moment he wakes up, to the minute we lay him down in his crib, Brady is on the move.  It is both exhausting and exhilarating to watch your son, to follow your son and to see him move from one thing to another. 

Brady has come so far.  There were days, we never thought our son would walk.  We prayed he would be able to walk with his sister and run after his dad.  Hard work and determination by our little fighter got him on his feet and so much more.  But...there are days, dare I say, that we wish he would slow down.  Just sit and   Play with some matchbox cars.  Just stop moving.  Brady never stops.  Until this weekend.  The long boat rides amazed us.  Brady sat and sat.  He didn't try to get off the seat.  He didn't tug at his hair as a sign of his uncomfortableness with the situation.  He truly enjoyed himself and even caught my husband's eye and kept his gaze for a few moments.  Truly beautiful moments. 

But it wasn't just the boat.  It was also the tractor.  Long tractor rides, loaded in the back of the trailer with his mom and sweet cousin Mia.  He smiled and held tight to the side of the trailer,  he watched his Bubba (Grandpa) closely as he drove us through the tall trees, long, bumpy trails and signs of nature all around us.  Brady sat back, sat still, focused and smiled that big beautiful smile that melts my heart.  My husband and I watched in amazement as Brady looked from side to side and let his whole self relax.  As a mother, all you want is peace for your children and Brady felt it. 

I am sure it is a sensory issue.  I am sure there is a medical or scientific reason why Brady loves the movement.  He loves long car rides, tractor rides through the woods and boat rides that glide through the waters.  He is content when he feels the world around him moving.  Brady, who never stops going and who never seems to find anything to grab his attention and put him at ease, found it and enjoyed the ride.

, I wish I could learn to ride the same waves Brady is.  I wish I could learn to enjoy the ups and downs.  I wish I could savor the calm ride through the glass like waters of a still day.  I wish I could ride the big waves without fear.  I wish I could let the waves take over and not try to figure out when the big one was coming.  I have fear and anxiety as Brady embarks on a new journey in the world of special education.  I want to know the ride will be smooth and everything will be as it is supposed to be for my son, but I know that only time will tell which path Brady's educational ride will take us on.  For now, I will learn to ride the waves, embrace the bumps and enjoy both the wind and the sun on our faces.