What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman

When I was pregnant with my daughter I quickly learned that people feel like they can say absolutely anything to a pregnant lady and frequently exercise the right to do so. I was shocked at the things that came out of people’s mouths—things they NEVER would have said to me when I wasn’t pregnant. Here’s a transcript of my favorite conversation from my first pregnancy; I was seven months pregnant at the time:

Guy: “When are you due again?”

Me: “January 18″

Guy: “Whoa! What are you having twins or something?”

Me: “No, I’m just really fat.” Except I didn't say 'really.'

That shut him up real quick. At the time it felt awesome to see the stunned look on his face, but now I feel really bad about it. I will say though that it was like the 117th person that asked me if I was having twins, so I guess my perceived hugeness by everyone was getting really old at the time. Anyway, here’s a list of things NEVER to say to a pregnant lady:

Telling Her How “Big” You Think She Looks – You wouldn’t do this to a woman who wasn’t pregnant, so why test it out on someone who is likely on a hormonal rampage? Consider this your warning. Here are some other fun things people said regarding my unsightly weight gain:

• When are you due? Geez, you better make sure you’re walking every day.
• When are you due? Boy, you better hope that baby doesn’t get any bigger.
• When are you due? That must be a big baby!
• Are those your fat pants?

Notice a lot of these are pre-empted by asking the due date. If you find yourself starting a conversation with a pregnant lady this way, try not to make a jerk comment right after. Also anything having to do with her having twins or being ready to pop any day is out. Thanks.

Offering ANY Opinions on Baby Names – I don’t care if so-and-so was mean to you in the third grade. If that’s the name I like, keep your story to yourself. Since my first pregnancy we have learned to keep quiet about baby names.

Giving Unsolicited Parenting Advice – I can barely wrap my head around how my body is changing, how I will ever manage to push a human being through it, and how I need to get the house ready for a new baby; your unwanted parenting advice is going right over my head. When I am ready, I will ask you for it.

Asking Her When She is Due - This is only OK if you are absolutely positive she is pregnant AND you don’t follow it up with a jerk comment. If you don’t know this person or aren’t sure, DON'T ASK. I was at the gym three months after I had my daughter and a total random guy came up to me and asked me when I was due. This is every new mom’s worst nightmare. Don’t be that guy.

What insensitive things did people say to you when you were pregnant?