Happy birthday, Tot! (I'm guessing that only your best friends in Edina will know who I'm talking about.)
Many, many, many happy returns of the day to my first sister and my dearest friend.
You're away, so I didn't send a card; and I know you don't need any trumpery gifts.
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So instead, I got you some laughs. (I hope.)
Enjoy, and have a wonderful day.
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Love you always,
Weez