Ah...June...the month of wedded bliss. It is indeed a busy time for caterers, florists as well as everyone who is involved with the many intricate details of making sure the day of bliss is "perfect."
It is the days, weeks and months, not to mention years- that are more important...that gets lost in all of the ceremonial planning. Our thoughts usually do not extend beyond the "I do."
It is, however, in the day to day dull routines of life that problems can erupt. He leaves the toothpaste lid off...she leaves the toilet seat down...he folds the towels "wrong." (Is there a right way??) What really should matter are the bigger issues: job changes or loss, illness, money issues, children, etc. Yet these seem to get lost in the "I am right and you're not" matters of who is in control.
Marriages can really take a hit when what seems happy suddenly is cast in a bad pallor. For instance, I have had rheumatoid arthritis as well as lupus since 2000. It seemed to go into a remission phase for about seven years and I had thought that maybe...just maybe... I had it controlled. My body choose to turn on me once more with a vengeance. After years of taking almost every drug there is and dealing with the side effects, my body is worn down, tired...and my spirits have deflated as well. My husband watches my daily movements and feels helpless. I feel helpless because he feels helpless. He is my pillar of strength, however, and has stood by me through thick and thin. He is the epitome of what true, unconditional love is. I mourn the loss of being a size eight...I am now a size twelve due to drug side effects and bloating. He left a note for me...many in fact, taped all over the house of how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. I was so touched that I cried. Those notes are still where he put them, to remind me daily of just how lucky I am to have him in my corner.
Isn't this what true love REALLY is or should be? To have someone who will share in your joys AND sorrows, who is your staunchest supporter. Marriage should NOT be a struggle for power or proving who is right and who isn't. The world is tough enough...why add to the misery? Your home, your partner should be your sanctuary from the ills of society!
Make every day count. Look at your spouse and pledge once again your love....remind that person of why they are so important to you. Remind yourself once more why you'd marry that person all over again. The love that you share will be readily apparent to all...inspiring them to also be grateful, caring and supportive. Let's start this revolution of love...beginning today!
