Raising Adolescence: A confusing time for teens and for parents

Adolescence is a time of many changes, and for parents it is hard to know what to expect.  During Early Adolescence, ages 10-13, youth are learning new ways of thinking and finding a place to fit in with their peers. You may see an increased need for privacy, dressing exactly like their friends, being very sensitive to teasing, quick mood changes and may they state that “everything is boring.”  Youth at this age may also be very concerned if they are “normal.”   Early Adolescents may believe that their experiences are so unique that no one could understand them. Youth at this age can think ahead about 1-5 days. When setting rewards or consequences for early adolescences, it is best to have things happen within 1 to 5 days.    

Middle adolescence, ages 13-16, brings more changes. A youth at this stage may disagree about everyday issues, and challenge limits. These are part of the youth’s goal of being more independent and free from parental rules. While, youth can now consider facts about a situation and make better decisions than before, there are decisions that they are not ready to make independently and parents still need to set limits. Youth at this age can think ahead 2-12 months. If there are struggles at school a youth may not be able to understand that their behavior will affect their future, since the youth is not able to see that far ahead.  The youth’s relationships with peers are changing at this time. Youth are more tolerant of differences and more able to express individual differences within peer groups. 

Late Adolescence, ages 16-21, brings about the ability to think about the future and plan ahead. There are fewer arguments with parents. Many youth may join groups or work towards a cause. Youth are less influenced by peers and they have an opinion about many things. At this point the youth is able to plan 1-3 years ahead. If a youth is unable or unwilling to make plans for the future it may be sign of other problems.

If you or any one you know is having a difficult time with an adolescent there is help available for you.  You can call First Call for Help at 224-1133 for a listing of counselors, or contact Kari Lyn at www.karilynwampler.com.