The Ghost and The Darkness and The Lyin' Lion Killer

There’s an old African proverb that goes something like this:

If you want to be a lion killer, you only need to kill one lion. If you want to be a liar, you only need to tell one lie.

But now there’s a Minnesota Connection, complete with one lion down and a whole herd of lies that won’t quit.

Now the world has learned that Minneapolis suburbs of Bloomington and Eden Prairie have been sheltering lyin’ lion killer Walter J. Palmer, AKA poacher/dentist at large.

At the beginning of July, this dentist went to Africa to hunt big game with his crossbow. His biggest problem at the time? The Dark Continent was running out of animals for him to kill. So he couldn’t stalk the wild beasts the way Hemingway did in real life. He couldn’t track down the noble prey the way Hemingway’s characters did in those novels and short stories, either. Palmer had to enlist the aid of his checkbook to get results.

In his latest safari, this dentist-as-great-white-hunter paid a reported $55,000 so he could get some kind of permit or license to kill — and so some obliging locals could scrounge up a lion for him to kill.

They did. Unfortunately, they did so in a way that was neither legal nor sporting. Palmer’s posse dragged the carcass of a dead animal around (by truck) and lured a lion out of a protected reserve. Once the lion was on the grounds of a nearby game farm, Palmer used him for target practice. But the Great White Hunter/Dentist only wounded him. It took this poor lion another 40 hours to die. That meant Palmer and his guides had to track him for almost 2 more days before they could deliver the coup de grace that would finally put him out of his suffering.

Instead of a trophy to mount on his wall, Palmer only got bigger problems.

He didn’t just kill any old lion, he killed Cecil. He killed a “beloved research lion,” well known to people of Zimbabwe and around the world. Cecil was skinned, beheaded, then his remains were abandoned and left to rot. Bad enough. What’s worse, though, is Palmer’s blistering audacity about the killing.

He immediately blamed his “local professional guides” for his actions. Then he claimed no knowledge of Cecil’s status as a collared animal who’d long been part of an important research study. Palmer insisted he didn’t know Cecil had been such a protected and valued animal until AFTER he’d killed him.

That newfound knowledge, however, didn’t stop him or the locals from beheading the lion or from trying to destroy the collar that had been fitted with a tracking device. If he really is sorry, then he’s only sorry that he got caught.

Oh, wait. He HAS been caught before. More than once, too.

*In 2003, he was convicted of fishing in Minnesota without a license. PUNISHMENT: Small fine — infinitely better than revoking his license and slapping him with a big fine.
*In 2006, he illegally killed a black bear in Wisconsin in an area 40 miles outside the permitted hunting zone. So he (with the help of his friends) moved the dead bear to a registered station inside the legal area, and lied to authorities about the actual location of his kill. In 2008, he pleaded guilty to misleading authorities about it. PUNISHMENT: Just one year’s probation and a fine that cost him nearly $3000 — infinitely better than the maximum penalty of five years in prison.
*In 2009, he settled with The Minnesota Board of Dentistry over claims that he’d sexually harassed one of his patients. PUNISHMENT: No admission of guilt on his part and payment of $127,500 to his accuser — infinitely better than a verdict of guilty in a court case and damages in the millions of dollars.

Now I realize this latter incident didn’t involve illegal hunting or mistreatment of wildlife, but it does indicate a disturbing pattern of behavior. That is, he keeps pushing the envelope when it comes to legal technicalities, AND he really believes he’s above the law.

No matter which law he breaks, he always ends up with just a slap on the wrist. No real inconvenient penalties for him. Always probation or small fines or settlements he can easily afford.

So why wouldn’t he think he was some kind of privileged character? He is. He is because he’s a dentist living in Eden Prairie, MN and practicing dentistry in Bloomington, MN. He’s in Minnesota. So he gets legal protection AND a free pass.

Palmer’s arrogance actually comes from genuine delusions about entitlement — ones that have been reinforced by The Minnesota Board of Dentistry.

I hate to say it, but his privileged perspective seems too typical of too many dentists in this state. Now let’s pause before the MN TOOTH POLICE puts me on their hit list. No, I’m NOT saying that ALL dentists here are arrogant and full of some warped sense of entitlement. I’m saying that too many dentists I’ve encountered have blithely ignored state and federal guidelines because nothing bad ever happens to them when they do.

They can and they do get away with illegal, unethical, and inappropriate behaviors simply because they’re dentists. In Minnesota, a lot of costs and care for patients are not strictly regulated or enforced. So dentists can charge whatever they want in their own clinics; they can also operate in whatever manner they choose, case closed. The dental board in this state always gives dentists — not patients — the benefit of the doubt.

The Board always believes the dentists — not the patients.

In fact, The Minnesota Board of Dentistry only takes complaints from patients seriously when they involve sex, drugs, or death. That’s it. Good luck on trying to get any help on your legitimate complaints about blatant overcharging, billing, insurance fraud, inappropriate dispensing/misuse of prescription meds, or patient abandonment. They’ll say they can’t help you, but they can. They just don’t want to do anything unless it helps dentists.

Look at that 127K that Palmer settled out of court with a former patient. That case HAD to have been a strong, airtight one that would have resulted in a slam-dunk for the patient had it gone to court. Otherwise, The Board never would have investigated or pursued it. By negotiating a mere $127,500 settlement, The Board saved Palmer from making a much larger payout and protected him from an admission of guilt. That’s The Board’s real agenda: helping dentists at all costs.

Still not convinced?

Then check out the modus operandi of The Minnesota Board of Dentistry. Here’s what happens to patients who dare to file complaints. They have to file detailed forms and send them to The Board. The dentists who are being complained about get copies of these complaints and a chance to respond. After weeks or months pass by, members of The Board meet to discuss the patients’s complaints and often talk to the dentists at The Board meeting…But only if they are interested in your case. Patients are not allowed to come to these meetings and/or get any records or documentation of meeting notes. Why? Because members of the public, i.e. complaining patients, reporters, non-dentists alike, are barred from these meetings…Talk about a Kangaroo Court! Here’s a “regulatory board” that’s way too dentist-friendly.

And everyone’s wondering why Palmer’s acting like some privileged character who thinks he’s above the law? Look no further than the dentists behind The Minnesota Board of Dentistry, folks. They started it. They created this unethical, protective cocoon of entitlement for themselves and their own.

Come on. Don’t tell me you’re so naive that you actually believe Palmer is going to get extradited to Africa where he’ll have to face the consequences of his crime. He’s going to follow his familiar pattern of denying, lying, then paying big money. That way, he can keep killing animals on the verge of extinction and getting away with it.

Besides outrage over Palmer’s pursuit of endangered species, though, there should also be some outcry over his salary.

Ever wonder why dental care was so conspicuously absent from the Affordable Care Act? Money talks. Dentists make a lot of money. So much money that they hired powerful lobbyists to convince Congress to keep dentistry out of the ACA. Without oversight and price controls set by government regulations, dentists can now make — and keep — more money than ever before. And that’s really unconscionable.

What’s really criminal is how so many people have to go without dental care because their dentists keep jacking up the prices. Something’s terribly, terribly wrong when parents have to take out second and third mortgages just to pay for their children’s braces. Or root canals or any other dental appliances their dentists talk them into getting.

Maybe Cecil didn’t die in vain after all. Maybe his death from the arrogant, over-paid dentist will serve as a wake-up call for us to start looking into the privileged, largely unregulated and unenforced world of dentistry. And maybe now, something will finally be done about it.