STRIB ATTACKS (PART II) Objective: Mark Dayton!

Attention, Minneapolis Star Tribune staffers: Call your Hyperbolic Hounds off Governor Mark Dayton. Now! You’re not embarrassing your intended target, anymore. You’re only embarrassing yourselves.

Oh, in case you’re new to Minnesota or Glen Taylor’s new, improved Strib, here’s some background information so you won’t be totally confused.

For years, the GOP machine (both in-state and out-of-state) has been trying to destroy Mark Dayton — the Auditor, the Senator, and now the Governor — with insinuations of mental illness. Nothing overt or direct, though. Just whispers, snide remarks to reporters, and passive-aggressive jokes about his depression and related anxieties. Just insidious, below-the-belt commentary about something they could never legally or ethically prove to voters. Of course, these underhanded tactics backfired.

There’s no way to obtain anyone’s personal health care records anymore without getting fined or jailed. So forget about any big dramatic press conferences that might expose Dayton’s medical conditions and prescription drugs. It can’t be legally done. Besides, these days you could even make the case that anyone who wants to go into politics really IS nuts.

More importantly, though, those cruel, GOP-generated words never matched the obvious reality staring Minnesotans in the face. Mark Dayton as crazed mental patient? Might as well accuse Eeyore of having rabies. Hunny Tree Alert! Watch it, Christopher Robin!

Come on. You can come up with all these stories about Eeyore foaming at the mouth and ripping up Pooh Corner. But if the accused doesn’t look the part, no one will ever buy your fabrication. Voters might be dumb, but they’re not stupid.

As the late, great director Billy Wilder used to say about audiences, “Everybody in the audience is an idiot, but taken together, they’re a genius.”

Ever watch Governor Dayton during a press conference or interview or debate? His face can’t keep up with his brain. His thoughts might be racing, but his bottom lip keeps quivering. His sad puppy eyes start blinking. Then he gives you that “please hug me” look. Put all these tics together and you have a politician who will never come across as a strong, no-nonsense leader. No way. And that’s what his opponents have been using against him: his nervous, decidedly UN-photogenic mannerisms.

That’s what the Strib’s photographers have been capturing in their photos, and those photos have been cheerfully getting printed — thanks to Glen and his editorial board.

Get that decisive moment photo on page one. Make sure you photograph Dayton when his lip starts to tremble and his forehead contorts. Make sure his weak mouth is frozen in time.

So you might be voting for this Sad Sack because you like his policies, but there’s no way you’re going to look up to him as a strong, decisive leader — not after we get through with him, anyway. We might not be able to prove he’s mentally ill. But we sure can plaster his ineffectual, puppy-dog face in our newspaper as much as possible. Just to remind the voting public how weak and confused Dayton really is…

Of course, this strategy isn’t working, either. The Collective Minnesota Nice knows Dayton’s just another public servant who takes a lousy picture. Time for Plan B.

Now we have a new twist in governor-smearing.

Now we have even more overloaded verbs, adverbs, and adjectives with negative connotations to slam Dayton. Again, as with the Hillary-bashing, the strategy is about the carefully calculated use of key words. Don’t laugh. These mere words have enough power to turn a harmless yet idealistic politician like Mark Dayton into a wild man consumed by volcanic rage.

Not true, of course. But truth has nothing to do with keeping up the rant.

Based on the headlines and words chosen by resident reporters, I’d say the real volcanic eruption comes from the Strib’s unchecked hyperbole. Suddenly, an emotionally-loaded feud between the governor and state senator that never existed blew up in the local media, thanks to the paper’s unscrupulous tactics.

Based on various reports from different local media, here’s what probably happened before the Hyperbolic Hounds took hold.

A few months ago, when Governor Dayton’s appointed State Commissioners threatened to quit their jobs because their pay was too low, he decided to raise their salaries. Total cost for the state? $800,000 or just under a million dollars for all cabinet officers and commissioners. (Some reports give that number as 23 while others say 30 would get raises.)

Because of a new state law passed in 2013, the governor could legally give them any amount of bonuses and salary increases whenever he wanted. But Dayton worried that his actions might be stymied by the State Legislature. The Republican-controlled House or DFL-controlled Senate could conceivably change the law or introduce amendments to jeopardize his ability to increase pay.

So Dayton met in private with Senate Majority Leader Tom Bakk. According to Dayton, Bakk reassured him that he would support the salary increases and not go along with any new laws or amendments that would stop the governor from exercising his legal powers.

But then, Bakk did an about-face. Instead of supporting the governor as he’d promised, Bakk did a real flip-flop. He introduced a new amendment to the 2013 legislation that would take away Dayton’s power to make any pay raises until July 1st (when his authority would be restored).

On Thursday, February, 12th, Bakk’s amendment passed.

On that same day, Governor Dayton held a press conference. Needless to say, Dayton wasn’t very happy about his disempowerment. He was especially unhappy about the way Bakk had deceived him. Who wouldn’t be?

And yet, the Strib’s front-page headline that appeared the next day, on Friday the 13th, told a different story: “Dayton : Top DFL leader ‘stabbed me in the back.’ ”

Then, throughout the news story, derogatory descriptions were strategically sprinkled. Things like “a bitter and public falling out,” and a rebuke characterized as “ unusually harsh.” Even underneath the typically unflattering photo of Dayton was this caption: “ ‘Blindsided:’ Gov. Mark Dayton minced no words…”

Yeah, minced words like “disappointed” and “distant?”

Reporter Patrick Condon’s quotes simply didn’t support the contrived fury. According to him, Dayton made these comments:

“I’m very disappointed because I thought my relationship with Senator Bakk has always been positive and professional,” Dayton said. “I certainly learned a brutal lesson today that I can’t trust him, can’t believe what he says to me, and that he connives behind my back.”

Then, at the end of the story:

“I’m not going to meet with Senator Bakk anymore without others present because I don’t trust his word,” Dayton said.

I actually watched the televised excepts of his news conference, and Dayton seemed more disillusioned and disgusted than uncontrollably angry. But nowadays the Minneapolis Star Tribune doesn’t let reality stand in the way of an entertaining smear campaign.

Its sole mission now seems to be reminding us about stuff that never happened in the first place.

The barrage of negativity continued. On Tuesday, February 17, the front-page headline blared “Dayton, Bakk are still seething.” Then, throughout the news story, references were made to the “…public feud that erupted last week…” and how “Dayton had responded with an angry tirade, calling Bakk ‘conniving’ and a ‘backstabber’…” Even inside on page A-7, this caption appeared underneath a photo: “Gov. Mark Dayton was all smiles as he posed Monday with high school pages, but he remains embroiled in a high stakes feud.”

Then on another front page news story that appeared on Thursday, February, 26th, more overblown references were made when the two DFLer’s “finally cooled their high-profile feud Wednesday.” Words like “an albatross for Dayton” and “drove a wedge” were used. No doubt, the governor and the state senator were not (and might never be) the best of buddies.

Describing Mark Dayton as “seething,” however, goes beyond inaccurate reporting and into the realm of science fiction. Then again, maybe too many reporters nowadays are frustrated storytellers. Ever since the Strib started in, the rest of the slugs in this broadcast news market also followed suit with colorfully fictitious reports.

Who could forget ‘CCO’s resident political hack Pat Kessler actually referring to Dayton as “the fire-breathing governor?” Or radio announcers on what used to be “Your Good Neighbor” station reporting how Minnesota’s governor was “blasting” and “ railing against” anyone and everyone who disagreed with him? Seems that everyone employed in the media ran out and got a Thesaurus APP so they could use the most egregiously damaging words to draw and quarter Dayton.

Amazing what the right word in the limited space of a headline can do. Even the right verb or adjective inserted in any written or spoken story can devastate. Ask Governor Mark Dayton about it. He’ll tell you.

Baby garter snakes have more venom than this guy. But you’d never know that if you kept reading the Minneapolis Star Tribune or listening to the copycat TV and radio journalists. Too bad their headlines and news stories don’t reflect reality. Then again, maybe there’s something to Karl Rove’s cracker-barrel symposiums, after all. Maybe the more you keep repeating a lie, the more likely people will believe it.

Thanks, Karl, for showing us how it’s done. Thanks, Glen, for getting it done.

NOW. PLEASE. STOP.