Take This Vacation and Shove It!

Didja hear the one about the guy who went on vacation to get away from his job, then came back and found out he didn’t have a job anymore?

I have. So has everyone else on the planet who is or ever has been a working stiff. That’s why we’re afraid to take vacations these days. We know that taking any time off could cost us our jobs and paychecks. Even if we didn’t get fired after our Black Hills odyssey, that ever-present fear that we might lose some job security lingers on…and won’t go away. Don’t laugh. It could happen to you. Maybe it already has. Our vacationfear is a very real fear because any time away from the work force now puts our jobs in jeopardy.

But apparently “The Minneapolis Star Tribune” and its resident nerd hack writer didn’t get the same JOB JEOPARDY memo everyone else did. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have insulted the intelligence of their readers by publishing “Workplace Martyrs, do us all a favor and take your vacation!”

“Workplace Martyrs?” Who knew? Never mind all the worker bees who need to work as much as possible to make ends meet. Or the hardworking stiffs who can’t afford to take vacations. Or the vast majority of us: dedicated employees who live in fear of losing jobs or job security. Now we’re all martyrs on the job.

According to this Strib article, workers who WANT to work long and hard without taking vacations are selfish, stupid, or sadly misinformed. Worst of all, they’re making the other workers who do go on vacation look bad. Well, so much for MN Work Ethic, journalism division. The writer behind this “workplace martyrs” story somehow saw fit to create a problem about unused vacations, then blame workers for not taking any. Apparently the situation has gotten so bad that anyone who didn’t take time off got vilified, shamed, and guilted in last Sunday’s Variety section.

It’s not this blatant (and undeserved) attack on American workers that bothers me, though. It’s all about the way it was written.

My main objection to this article — aside from its silly assumptions and conclusions — lies with its inherent dishonesty. The writer almost exclusively used statistics from a “research study” without informing readers who funded the study and why. An omission like the violates the basics of Journalism 101 and Writing Ethics. Anytime you want to quote from any so-called study, especially when you’re criticizing someone or something, you’d better make sure you include who paid for the research study. Why?

BECAUSE READERS NEED IT.

In order to draw reasonable conclusions and engage in intelligent discussions, readers need to be alerted to the bias of writers and their sources. Readers need to be especially alerted about biased research studies. Think back to all those studies that concluded smoking cigarettes, consuming lots of sugar, and drinking 7 cups of coffee each day were pretty harmless activities. Then ask yourself about the organizations that funded those research studies. Did you ever know who paid for all that research? Probably not. Knowing that the American Tobacco Institute, the Sugar Growers of America, and World Coffee Association were behind these studies, however, would have made a difference in how their reliability and credibility were perceived.

In this case, a report called “The State of American Vacation: How Vacation Became a Casualty of Our Work Culture” was used. Yes, the article does state, “It was conducted by Project: Time Off.” But no, it never explained what exactly Project: Time Off was or who funded it. Surprise! This “project” isn’t a project at all. It’s another gimmick from the US Travel Association to get your vacation dollars. This “project” is a pro-tourism coalition of vacation destinations like Sea World, Walt Disney World, and others. Once you understand that this “project” can inevitably slant its findings and information, you realize how questionable this entire report and subsequent article really are.

Okay, so “Fifty-five percent of us did not use all of our vacation in 2015.” That factoid could easily be checked and proven if you want to use their opinion sample of “more than 5,600 American workers, including 1,200 managers” who were questioned in the study. But other information can’t be so easily proved or disproved.

Consider this finding:
“We cheated the economy, too. Had we fully used our vacations, we would have pumped $223 billion into U.S. businesses, including restaurants, mom-and-pop B&Bs and travel agencies.”

$223 billion — my, how impressive. Why $223 billion, though? Why not $300 billion? Or how about $137.5 billion? Biased research studies always throw out big numbers to supervalidate their findings, but rarely, if ever, divulge how they arrived at such amounts.

Then we have quotes of “experts” from companies and schools most people have never heard of. In this case it’s Sarah Sladek, CEO of XYZ University. God bless her, she’s entitled to her opinion, but it’s pretty obvious she’s never worked at different jobs on various levels in the workplace. If she had, she wouldn’t have come up with this zinger:
“There is sometimes pressure not to take vacation time, or to even ask for vacation time. They (workers of Generation X, Y, and Z) feel guilty because they see their older co-workers not taking it… and they’re trying to earn those colleagues’ respect.”

Uh, maybe. Maybe that IS an accurate assessment of a few workers from a few workplaces. But interpretations and conclusions like hers can’t really be properly evaluated for accuracy because they’re so subjective. And biased. Sarah’s brain fails to recognize or acknowledge real people in real-life situations. In fact, both the study and the published article completely overlook valid reasons so many employees can’t take vacations. AND GUILT IS DEFINITELY NOT ONE OF THEM.

Get ready for the motherlode of workplace reality checks:

DYSFUNCTIONAL BOSS, DYSFUNCTIONAL WORKPLACE
Stop with the collective kissing of management butt, already! Way too many managers — especially entry level and mid-level ones — are incompetent. So incompetent that they run their departments like dysfunctional families. Good luck in even trying to bring up “taking a little time off” under these circumstances. In a dysfunctional workplace, “time-off” means permanent job loss.

VACATION? WHAT VACATION?
For too many American workers, staycation means staying late at work and not getting overtime, even if you come in during weekends. Being employed doesn’t necessarily mean you get a vacation, either. Not anymore. Too many workers now toil at 2 or 3 jobs. Too many jobs nowadays aren’t permanent full-time positions. Now there’s an over-abundance of part-time, seasonal, flex-time, freelance, and work-from-home jobs.

VACATION: JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR “YOU’RE FIRED”

In the old days, employees would lose their jobs around the holidays because it was easier to fire them. Their workplace vigilance fell by the wayside as they became overly preoccupied with Santa and pumpkin pies and Easter egg hunts. As every horrible boss knows, overly preoccupied workers can easily become shell-shocked employees who won’t freak out as much when they lose their jobs. Not any more. Now things have changed.

Now when they go on vacation and return to work, they’re coolly informed there’s no more work for them. Ever.

So why wasn’t this reality mentioned in the Strib’s “workplace martyr” article?

Uh-oh. I smell another hidden agenda from Strib owner Glen Taylor. It began with his usual pro-big business script, then became a National Enquirer expose. Leave it to one of his still-employed lackeys, though, to go all out when he makes writing such crap a condition for her continued employment. Oh, I get it. The Man wants you to write it, so you write it.

ATTENTION, NEWSPAPER REPORTER BEHIND THE WORKPLACE MARTYRS ARTICLE: The Man just isn’t telling you how to write your article anymore. Now he’s actually telling you WHAT to write. And now, what you write better coincide with his capitalist-turned-fascist ideology, or you won’t have a job anymore.

Yet ironically, your situation is strangely similar to those people you criticized for not taking vacations, isn’t it? Only in Glen’s fascist workplace, you face criticism and job loss for not thinking like your boss and for not writing what he wants you to write. How sad. How very frightening, too.

I feel sorry — truly sorry — for you because you felt compelled to churn out misguided tripe about workplace martyrs just so you could cling to your little gig at a metro daily. That’s why I’m refusing to even dignify your journalistic lapse by revealing your byline. I’m taking the high road here. I desperately want to believe that if you didn’t write this shxtty pseudo-op-ed disguised as information article, they would have made you clear out your desk before 3 PM.

Hey, we’ve all done things we weren’t proud of because we needed that paycheck, girl. I’m not personally blaming you. I just feel bad that you needed that paycheck that badly. Just remember, though, when push comes to shove you’re the one who’s going to have to live with yourself and the silly fascist propaganda your newspaper wanted you to write.