Unfriending The Unfriendly Skies of United

Remember when that catchy advertising jingle about United Airlines used to play on TV and radio spots ALL THE TIME? You couldn’t NOT hear it. Even little kids on the playground were singing, “Fly the friendly skies of United.” Yeah, friendly.

And remember when everyone used to actually believe the friendly part? Neither does Dr. Dao.

He’s that poor guy who got bumped, then forcibly yanked, from the “friendly skies” last Sunday night. If you haven’t yet seen him in that video that went viral the next day, you should. You really should. Watch it and you won’t believe your eyes. It’s THAT unbelievable.

It’s simply unimaginable that, today in America, the rights of a paying consumer should be so flagrantly and unabashedly abused by United’s goon squad — I mean, security officers…Oh, wait, they were cops. Cops who weren’t protecting and serving in the way they should have been.

Officially speaking, they were The Chicago Airport Police from O’Hare International. But to you and me and everyone else who saw that video, they were the same virulent minority of cops who overreacted and made the majority of America’s finest look bad, too.

Just when we get a comforting collective image of policemen saving drowning babies and puppies, these Rambos-in-training show up. And they got their fifteen minutes of fame by using extreme force against an unarmed medical doctor. In fact, they manhandled Dr. Dao so severely that CEO Oscar Munoz announced United would no longer use the police to remove passengers. Later on, company spokesmen added they still might use police, but only under special circumstances. So now United Airlines will TRY not to use law enforcement to remove passengers, but they still might do it…

Like, that’s supposed to make us all feel warm and fuzzy inside?

Most people didn’t even realize that the airlines were using cops that way in the first place. Certainly, most people never equated passenger removal with physical assault, either. But that’s what happened to Dr. David Dao, Vietnamese immigrant and American citizen, last Sunday night.

Cellphone video (taken by other passengers) clearly shows Dr. Dao being ejected from the plane by unmistakable and unnecessary force. I don’t mean “forcibly escorting” him off, I mean grabbing his arms and roughly dragging him along the floor. I mean yanking him so hard that his shirt and glasses start to come off. I mean hurting him so much that his teeth and nose get broken and his face becomes a bloody mess. I mean actually giving him a concussion. But why?

Why did such an unthinkable assault have to take place? The answer seems shocking in an absurd 1984-ish kind of way, but here it is. Dr. Dao didn’t want to surrender his seat to any one of the four United employees/crew members who wanted to go to Louisville, Kentucky, because he wanted to go to Louisville, too. (!!!!!)

When a United employee told him he had to leave the plane, he explained he was a doctor. He said he couldn’t give up his seat because he had to see patients on Monday morning. After his reasonable explanation, however, the employee told him he had to go anyway. When he objected, she threatened to call security. And she did. Then bloody chaos ensued and became immortalized on cellphone video.

There’s a real important piece of the puzzle missing here, though.

Despite all the media coverage on this news story about United, nobody investigated the obvious thing that’s been bothering me and other passengers for years. That is, what’s the big deal about flying in and out of Louisville, Kentucky?

Why does it remain so difficult — and so expensive — to book any flight going in or out of Louisville?

Although it’s close to Chicago and other airport hubs, Louisville remains a destination too far and too costly for most airlines — and it shouldn’t be. Kentucky’s largest city hosts the Kentucky Derby, The Louisville Slugger Museum, The University of Louisville, not to mention other historic and tourist attractions. So people do want to fly there. But it remains some kind of dead zone as far as the airlines are concerned. Why? I used to live there, and I could never figure it out.

But you can bet United Airlines (along with the other airlines) knows why.

You can bet that when United tried to bump passengers off this flight to Louisville last weekend, they KNEW they wouldn’t encounter much enthusiasm or cooperation. They KNEW.

United couldn’t help but know that just trying to rebook another flight to Louisville would ultimately prove too time-consuming and too inconvenient for any passenger. And yet, United’s employees were determined to bump four passengers from the flight to accommodate their own United crew. Friendly, real friendly.

According to reports from The New York Times (from Tuesday, April 11, 2017) the airline announced the flight was overbooked to passengers BEFORE they boarded. Then AFTER United allowed them to board the plane, employees began bullying passengers to give up their seats. At one point, an employee announced the flight wouldn’t take off until four seats had been surrendered. Professional, real professional.

That’s what happens in a democracy when you gift Big Business with the upper hand. The upper hand keeps coming down and smashing the consumer rights of the individual.

Evidently, the work force at United screwed up. First they overbooked a flight to Louisville — a flight destination that never should have had any overbookings. Then they tried to bully passengers to give up their seats when they knew how problematic rebooking flights to Louisville would be. Then, after a doctor refused to leave because of his upcoming medical appointments, they made an “example” of him by dragging him off the plane.

And yet, United’s CEO initially praised his employees for their “common sense?” WOW. It must take a special kind of stupid to operate an airline nowadays.

Here’s something else everybody seems to have missed about this news story: United Airlines actually kicked a doctor off one of its flights. Duh!

When was the last time an airline went to such extremes just to bump a medical doctor off a plane? I think the answer to that one is probably NEVER.

A doctor on an airplane is ALWAYS a keeper. Spare me those arguments from insurance companies on medical liability. Having a doctor around, anytime, anywhere, is always a good thing. You NEVER want to bump a doctor off any flight. You always bump off gas station attendants, fashion models, or earthworm farmers first. That’s just common sense from Flight Management 101.

Looks like a lot of employees at United Airlines need some serious retraining, especially on common sense.

No doubt this airline created this mess without any involvement from any passengers. The blame for this public relations nightmare rests entirely with United Airlines. Unfortunately for consumers, United is a major corporation, i.e., a Big Business that’s unconditionally protected by American Capitalism.

Explanations designed by the media to promote understanding about this incident quickly turned into a defensive lovefest for United. While public outrage was still simmering, USA Today launched a veiled defense for the airline industry. Its front page headline from Wednesday, 04.12.17., announced “Here’s why airlines can boot you.” A subheading further reminded readers of their own personal accountability: “Passengers, who often fail to read the fine print, agree to a ‘contract of carriage.’”

Oh. So now any confusion about bumping is the fault of passengers who fail to read the fine print? Well, yeah. Apparently, it is.

According to this lead article, the ‘contract of carriage’ is a 37,000-word document that every passenger accepts whenever any ticket is purchased.

As if to add insult to injury, the article also reminds consumers that United had every legal right to remove Dr. Dao. That declaration is followed by more sprinklings of quotes from (mostly) pro-business lawyers and educators.

From an attorney who practices aviation law in Washington D.C.: “As a general matter, passengers have rights, but airlines have rights, too.”

As if we didn’t know that…

From an attorney and professor at a business school: “If you don’t want to be searched at the airport, take Amtrak, jump in your car.”

But what if you can’t take Amtrak or jump in your car? What if your only way to get to your destination is by plane? Too bad. Tuff titties, little kitties.

Sorry, guys, your caveat emptor crap won’t fly this time. The physical assault on Dr. David Dao by The Chicago Airport Police under the direction of United Airlines is no longer an internet sensation. It’s gotten bigger than that. It’s now become a watershed for both aviation law and big business oversight.

For too long, government regulators have been turning a blind eye to the outrageous conduct and questionable practices of the airline industry.

For too long, individual consumers have taken a backseat to the needs and whims of Big Business. Companies like United Airlines have gotten numerous breaks and free passes to conduct their business at the expense of their passengers. And if their paying customers dared to complain, regulatory agencies blamed them — not the airlines — for “not being vigilant enough.” Not anymore.

Now thanks to Dr. Dao, even a major airline like United is finally going to be held accountable for its outrageous, self-serving business practices. Look for new regulations that will be more strictly enforced than ever before. The time has come to unfriend these consumer-unfriendly corporations by actually regulating them with common sense.