What You Sign Up For is Rarely (if ever) What You Think You Signed Up For

Another week, another TrumpSaga that vividly illustrates why this sociopathic “businessman” never should have become American’s Commander-in-Chief.

This time, the moody demagogue showed us that he never signed up to be consoler-in-chief. It simply wasn’t a part of the Trump brand. Let’s face it: it wasn’t on his resume because he was and is completely devoid of empathy for other human beings. What should have been uncomplicated compassion for a slain soldier’s widow and family quickly became a lesson on “things you should never say to the widow and family of a slain soldier.”

On Tuesday, October 17th, Trump phoned Myeshia Johnson, widow of Sergeant La David Johnson, one of the four soldiers who’d been ambushed in Niger on October 4th. So, this condolence call was finally made nearly two weeks after Johnson’s death. Trump called as his widow and family were in a limousine at the Miami International Airport, waiting for the plane to deliver the remains of her dead husband. Johnson’s mother, Cowanda Jones-Johnson, and Frederica Wilson, friend of the family and also a Congresswoman, listened in on the call. And they couldn’t believe Trump’s insensitivity.

(For a more thorough account of this condolence call, see the Thursday, October 19, 2017 edition of The New York Times.)

According to Congresswoman Wilson who heard the call and also shared the information as the family’s spokesperson, his contact hurt more than it helped. Trump said something like “I guess he knew what he signed up for, but it still hurts.” Far worse, though, he didn’t refer to Sergeant Johnson by name. He kept calling him “your guy,” over and over to the grieving widow (she has two children — 2 and 6 years old — and is six months pregnant.)

You can argue that he didn’t mean to upset Ms. Johnson, that it wasn’t his intention. You can also argue that when you’re the President of The United States you should be more mindful about what you say to grieving Gold Star families. As usual, Trump garbled his own message to the point of obtuseness. He didn’t say what he meant, he didn’t really mean it the way he said it.

Unfortunately, no one’s talking about how Congresswoman Wilson wanted to speak with the President when the grieving widow contorted into a fetal position and began crying. Why wasn’t her intervention allowed? Congresswoman Wilson could have averted the entire misunderstanding. If Trump would have listened to her, she could have explained to him what was taking place on their end. Then he could have rephrased his comments, spoken to her again, even used Ms. Wilson to convey his apologies to Ms. Johnson. At least he could have extended the phone call for another 5 or 10 minutes to comfort the family.

Of course, he didn’t do anything of the kind.

Needless to say, accounts of the telephone conversation between the President and the widow (and the family) greatly differ. Of course. That usually happens after POTUS#45 says or does something stupid — or, let’s say inappropriate because it sounds kinder. He puts his foot in his mouth, as usual, the recipients of his gaffe complain, then he denies everything.

Like, after his 5-lie-a-day habit, we’re supposed to believe The Donald?

Once again, the injured party’s account of the interaction is so unusual, so unbelievable, that we KNOW they couldn’t possibly
make up such a story. It just has to be true.

But now, The White House is scapegoating Florida Congresswoman Wilson who listened to this “condolence call.”

Despite his inherent narcissism, Trump actually scolded Congresswoman Wilson for listening in to his private phone conversation with Ms. Johnson! As though a scheduled phone call from the President of The United States was top secret? He then accused her of lying about what he said to Johnson’s widow, even hinting he had proof of her fabrication. So now he’s recording these private, sacred phone conversations between himself and bereaved survivors of dead soldiers?

Suddenly, Congresswoman Wilson is “politicizing” this incident because she’s a Democrat, not a Republican. Even Trump’s Chief-of-Staff John Kelly is getting into the act, discussing sacred things that are no longer sacred, saying President Obama never called him when his son died, and making false claims about what Wilson said in a speech years earlier. What does this all mean?

To me, a writer, these unbelievably outrageous things are too plentiful to pass up. I feel compelled to write about Trump and these absurd things he said or did. But it’s becoming increasingly difficult now to choose what to include. So many snafus, so little space. It feels a lot like being locked in a Dairy Queen overnight and not being able to decide which scrumpdillyishus treats to eat. So many Dilly Bars, so little time.

So I’m going to focus on the big thing that everyone missed here — the thing that too many people seem to be overlooking. That is, this assumption that soldiers who enlist “know what they’re signing up for.” Not true.

We civilians comfort ourselves with that old bromide, but most veterans will eventually admit that, in whatever capacity they served in the military, the old saying just wasn’t true for them.

In fact, there’s usually a big gap between what you think you’ve signed up for — what you believe will happen to you — and what really happens to you in the military.

Sure, you know you might face danger, you know you could be fighting in wartime. Sure, bad things could happen to you. But when you sign up, you don’t realize a lot of things. You don’t realize you could safely come home only to be plagued with debilitating PTSD for the next 50 years of your life. You don’t realize that the Veteran’s Administration that promised to help you has created a complex bureaucracy specifically designed NOT to help you. You don’t realize your military experiences might render you so helpless that you’ll end up homeless, unemployed, suicidal. You don’t realize chemicals like Agent Orange and Other Nerve Gases could give you cancer and create birth defects in your offspring.

Furthermore, when you enlist in any branch of the service, it never dawns on you that you might be making the biggest mistake of your life — that maybe you’ll regret your courageous duty and love of country because you were never emotionally or psychologically prepared to be a killing machine for your country.

Not everyone can be a warrior. Not everyone can be a hero. Certainly not everyone who signs up specifically knows exactly what he or she has signed up for.

Maybe if Trump and his White House squadron would listen to veterans once in a while they’d get it. Maybe then, this President might be able to start understanding the duties of his own office instead of ignoring or vilifying others who are merely trying to function in our democracy.