How to Take A Cat to the Veterinarian

Have you ever needed to take your cat to a veterinarian?  I have, and it was not a pretty sight.  I have noted some steps that may help you avoid serious battle scars.

First, locate the cat.

Look everywhere inside the house.  Scour the basement near the furnace and between the washer and dryer.  You might also peek INTO the dryer to see if cat has found the warmest place of all.  This will also explain the patches of fur in the lint screen.  

The cat may be reclining on the treadmill; blinking zeroes on the dials indicate the cat has no intention of working out.

Perhaps kitty is drinking from the toilet.  Also notice if the coffeecake in the kitchen has been nibbled.  Unlike Hansel and Gretel, cats do not leave a trail of crumbs.

It is useless to call for the cat.  It is mortified to respond as dogs do.

You might gloat that you have kitty cornered in the garage, but many a cat knows how to raise the garage door with one terrific leap to the switch.

As a last resort search upstairs where you will likely find the cat who has been lounging on the guest bed this entire time.  Grab the cat with one hand while the other is trembling with the carrier.  Make sure your hands are out of reach from kitty's little (but amazingly sharp!) teeth.  During this scuffle you are reminded why there has never been any love lost between you two.

Shove the preyed cat into the carrier.  You are now ready for the trip to the vet.  Unless, of course, kitty knows how to unlock it.