IT'S NOT MY FAULT! THE TEENAGER MANTRA!

Good Morning,

It doesn't matter what happened. It doesn't matter where it happened. I have one 13 year old who believes nothing is ever her fault. Perhaps it was the toasters fault not the fact that she set it to flame toast. Or the gash in the wall was the walls fault not the fact that she tried to move something that didn't fit through her doorway. Yes, she is creative. She is going to be a wonderful writer because she can concoct any situation to fit her own needs. She once nearly convinced a teacher that she couldn't read a book because it was against our religion! The book was the Outsiders. I believe she means no harm.  My lovely 13 year old can charm a snake to do her bidding but cannot accept responsibility for her own actions. My plan is to set up situations, sometimes funny, to teach her this important lesson. My strategy is to convince her that taking responsibility is often easier that making up some story about how inanimate objects can ruin her day. Its easier than I thought. Desi is responsible for keeping her room relatively free of clutter. No dirt socks everywhere, no movies providing a montage of images on her floor, just a simple no clutter rule.  Of course she blamed the dresser for not having enough drawers to keep her things and then of course she needs a bigger room for all her collections and it my fault I haven't knocked down a wall to accommodate her needs. But on this day, as she is forced to spend time in her room, she throws her books off the shelf and as she begins to sort and put them back in an orderly fashion, she begins to read them. She spends hours reading books from a childhood of years ago and spent nearly the entire day going through all her treasures. At the end of the day she had redone her room and looked a little more mature and very happy. The next 5 days were filled with her folding her own laundry and keeping her clutter to a minimum.  Ah, the lessons of life. If only they lasted after one try. I know this is only the beginning of the teenage angst but I am ready for what is to come because when I see her, I can't help but smile.