Talking to Children About 9/11

It’s a part of our history. That’s why fifth-grade teacher Gail Hotze believes it’s important to talk to her students about the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

Hotze and fellow fifth-grade teacher Rebecca Buss recognize that their students don’t remember the day’s horrific events because they were very young, but as the 10th anniversary approached, they wanted their students to feel comfortable asking questions and encouraged them to talk to their parents about the attacks. They have also made 9/11 books available to their students that are written for children.

 “I want the students to understand this was a major event in our country’s history. For those of us who remember, we’ll never forget where we were or what that day was like,” said Hotze, who asked her class to write about why Sept. 11 is a day of remembrance. “I think they have a better understanding through their writing and our discussions.”

As a counselor at and a grandmother of young children, Jane Hornby has been giving the Sept. 11 anniversary a lot of thought.

“Our students were just babies or weren’t even born yet, but many know about the attacks through their parents, history lessons, TV and other media,” Hornby said. “As adults, we remember the events so well, but we also want to help our children understand what happened and answer their questions.”

In doing her own research to share with parents, Hornby recommends a few tips when discussing Sept. 11 with children:

• If possible, parents should not impose their feelings but instead answer what they are asked and answer using open-ended questions. For example, ask a child what they would like to know.

• Monitor what children are seeing on television and the Internet. Younger children in particular don’t understand that what they see on TV may not be happening right now. If they see the images of the planes over and over, because they will be played over and over, they may worry that it is happening right now. If an older child is watching the images on TV, it’s best to watch with them and answer questions they may have.

• Children want to know they are safe, and we should help them without making a promise that this could never happen again. We need to talk to our children about how our country has changed and new safety regulations have been put into place.

• Avoid the hatred and blame of an entire population. Explain to children that it was a small group of people who attacked the United States. It’s important to answer questions with facts. There are many resources available for parents if they need guidance.

Hornby said she plans to talk to her own grandchildren about the attacks to see what they may already know and answer any questions they may have.

“I have such vivid memories of that day,” said Hornby, who was a social studies teacher at a school with young children and high school students in 2001.

She remembers the older students being immobilized by the day’s events, while the younger students had more of a need to go back to a “normal” day rather than continually seeing images of the attacks. She emphasizes that children react to events very differently at different ages.

Although Hotze knows her students may see many images of the attacks on the anniversary, she wants them to feel hopeful as well.

On Monday, she plans on reading them the children’s book September 12: We Knew Everything Would Be All Right,written by elementary school students to assure fellow children that, despite the tragedy, there is still hope.

How have you talked about 9/11 with your children or grandchildren? Please share your experience in the comments box below.