An Extraordinary Dad

The Capital Center for the Arts was packed. Concord Dance Academy fills that theater twice for its annual dance recital. The groups come onto the stage one right after the other in a magnificently organized display of all levels and types of dance. It is spectacular. During one of the rehearsals leading up to the show I noticed a father on stage with his young daughter helping her through her routine. I didn’t think much of it. My daughter Molly needed similar coaxing at that age and it was me standing behind her urging her along. It wasn’t until the dress rehearsal that I realized just how special this father was. His daughter’s dance was called “Cuddlebugs” and the sweet little girls…all 16 of them were dressed as ladybugs. Daddy Bug (as he is referred to in the program) was too. Adorned in black pants, a sequined vest with black spots, and a fedora with ladybug antennae you couldn’t miss him. He ran out with his class, and led his daughter through the dance, in front of all those people. Standing back stage there wasn’t a dry eye among the teachers. It isn’t every dad that would do that for his child.

Peyton is three. Her pudgy physique and sweet face make this perfectly clear. Her sparkly eyes, taking everything in are also apt to wander or become vague. Peyton doesn’t say much. At age three she still has not spoken truly meaningful words or consistently responded to verbal commands and questions…but she is three, and child development is a mystery. So her parents signed her up for dance. It has been a wonderful year. She clearly loves to dance and when the music starts you can see that she is engaged….but still….unless Daddy is nearby…or right there…it isn’t yet easy for her to be independent.

For the past 30 or so Saturday mornings Peyton and her Dad Zack have come to tap and ballet class. He ties her shoes; he places her on her line and takes his place behind her. Crouched down he moves her arms, he nudges her feet…he does the steps himself, and he sings along. “I’ve always been one of those people who would do just about anything…so tap dancing with a bunch of three year olds isn’t really a stretch” he replied when I asked him about it. “She is my daughter, and right now this is what she needs from her father, so here I am.” When I asked how it came to be him and not her Mom he was adamant that her Mom would have done the same thing, but that dance class was Daddy and Peyton time. “I have really come to enjoy this time with her.”

Americana shows Dad’s playing catch in the yard, coming home and mowing the lawn. In my generation Dads were often invisible, busy with the financial challenge of being the bread winner. But times have changed and the roles of fathers have too…especially in the lives of their daughters. Little girls with healthy father/daughter relationships are less likely to engage in risky behaviors as they age. They do better in school. They feel secure. While Peyton does not yet know how extraordinarily lucky she to have the Dad she has, she will one day. We all knew it back stage and I am quite sure most of the audience was rooting for them too.

So Zack, Happy Father’s Day. When a parent can cast aside judgment, have a sense of humor, and love their child unabashedly, that should be acknowledged. Moms, sons, daughters, along with the cards and gifts you may give your Dads tomorrow…dig down deep and share a memory you have with your Dad…and thank him for it…and Dad’s…channel you inner cuddle bug and support the many special and unique needs your children may present. It isn’t about you after all, it is about them. Happy Father Day!