With Even More Apologies to Jonathan Swift

Again, let’s remember that this is satire. Everything you are reading here is made up by me. And as of today none of it is true....yet.

It’s official Steve Duprey now owns all of Concord’s downtown.

In a ceremony attended by the mayor, city council, city manager and staff, the Chamber and many other influential members of our community, Mr Duprey was handed the keys and more importantly a deed of ownership to Concord’s downtown. The extent of his empire will reach from Storrs to Storrs Street (north and south). And Storrs to State Streets (east and west). 

After many behind closed door meetings with the city council and much complicated legal wrangling between the city and Mr Duprey’s agents the two parties were able to come to an agreement for the transfer of Concord’s downtown.

The big question is what are Mr. Duprey’s plans for his new empire. Will he continue to only allow current businesses presently located in Concord to occupy his buildings. Or now with control and ownership of all of downtown will he allow, or more importantly need to recruit from outside of Concord’s inner business circle to fill occupancies in our deserted downtown.

Remember that when Mr. Duprey took ownership of the Employment Security building and redeveloped this property, that he relocated all remaining retail and commercial entities to this address. Again as you may remember this emptied our North Main Street from Pleasant to Centre Streets of all its occupants.

We hear that Mr. Duprey’s latest goal is to move the Concord Hospital campus off of Pleasant Street to the downtown. After the completion of the multi million dollar Complete Streets project, Main Street is now one of the most accessible districts in the country. Mr Duprey stated that it’s a shame there are no longer any tenants occupying this area of our city.

With no need to break leases or remove tenants and all the accessibility issues of Concord’s North Main Street addressed during the 15 year Complete Streets construction project, the opportunity to move the sick and infirm to Concord’s Main Street is an opportunity Mr Duprey couldn’t pass up. Former Concord Hospital CEO Mike Green stated that while he will be sad to see the hospital relocate from their current campus he is pleased that he will be able to help with the transition.

Mr. Green has been hired by the Duprey companies to ensure a smooth transition to the hospitals new location. When asked what convinced him to leave retirement, Mr. Green Stated that the $2.5 million dollar salary with additional performance bonus guarantees was the motivating factor.

While it’s uncertain what use can be found for the current Hospital’s campus there have been discussions to move the library to this location. As you know they have outgrown their newest location on the first floor of the former Employment Security building. This is due to the increasing homeless  population who visit the library after having flocked to Concord to take advantage of the bathing options at the State House Plaza. The fountains and the use of the bath house that is now attached to the Chamber of Commerce's kiosk, have now made Concord the number one destination for the Nations homeless population.

Again this looks like a win - win situation for all involved. Many thanks to Mr. Duprey for his continued civic involvement in making Concord a better place to live. And kudos to the city’s council and administration for realizing that it is Mr Duprey who runs and owns our (oops) the city.