Brogan: A New Role For Barb!

Barbara Higgins is a local legend. No matter what your opinion of her may be, there is no denying that she is someone who speaks her mind, is always honest and frank, has within her a courage we would all like to have, and she has never backed down from a fight. To her friends, she displays an unfaltering loyalty and while some may be cowed by her directness, there's no denying that she has spent most of her life trying to make a difference in the lives of others.

Some of Barb's (as she is known to friends and family) life has been played out on the front pages, but there is also a deeply compassionate and sensitive person who always has time to listen or to offer suggestions to those who are looking for answers.

With a capable assist from a very gifted writer, Virginia McGregor - a writing legend in her own right - Barb has told the story of the past decade of her life. While many of us have heard of the tragic loss of one of her daughter's, Molly, and her more recently giving birth to a son, while in her latter 50's, we don't know, until now, what motivated her, kept her afloat or how she coped with a darkness that threatened to smother her after an unspeakable time.

Motherland, appropriately enough, is the title of her no holds-barred book, due out later this month. In fact, Barbara Higgins will be at our beloved local bookstore, Gibson's, on Tuesday evening, October 24 at 6:30 PM. She'll talk about the book, share pieces of it and be available to sign copies after her chat. If I know Barb, it'll be an informal but very welcoming talk that will make us all, by its conclusion, feel like we've been sitting in her home living room, enjoying and admiring the company of a friend.

I asked Barb about this new venture recently and she happily complied.

1. What made you decide to write a book and why now?

I had thought of writing a book from the moment I began experiencing the last week of Molly‘s life. Mother, swift loss, children often find their biggest struggle is making meaning of such a senseless event and keeping their child’s legacy alive. Given the details of Molly‘s death, and how much it affected the community, I felt that her story was worthy to share.

2. Was it extremely painful to relive what happened and by writing about it, did you find any peace?

It is always painful to think about it. Talk about it. Try to stuff it away or write it down. Having said that, what’s more painful is ignoring it. So yes, creating this book was incredibly painful. Having a ghost writer like Virginia allowed me to tell the story, and she could then organize it and craft it into a beautifully flowing story. I am not sure this is a book I could’ve done all by myself as it is too easy for me to get lost in the details.

3. You worked with a wonderful writer, Virginia McGregor, in telling your story. What made your collaboration especially satisfying?

The most satisfying piece of collaborating with Virginia as I felt that I was fulfilling a universal promise. The details around my meeting Virginia and coming to know her and how our lives remain connected Makes me feel that she was supposed to do this for me, I’m not sure if that makes sense. What was satisfying is that Virginia has a kind heart and is incredibly accepting and welcoming of every version of every story I shared. She is a true artist and a genuine empath. And for reasons only the universe knows she also felt that this was a story She was destined to tell. It is a beautiful piece of this creation.

4. Like the character of Molly Brown in "The Unsinkable Molly Brown", your mantra has always been, "I ain't down yet". How have you survived more than many of us ever go through?

I’m not always sure I feel like I am surviving. I have no choice actually as I have children and a partner, and a family and I am alive. So the only choice I truly have is to curl up in a ball, practice terrible, self-harming, behaviors, or get up every day and do the best I can. It took me a couple of years, but I’m at the point now where I just do the best I can. I am also quite stubborn inside, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my life beat me down. Virginia has told me that as a fictional character I would not be believable because one person could not go through all that I have gone through. Since no one knows everything, I have endured, that makes me feel a bit better about myself sometimes. I also believe that every hardship is a bit of a preparation for future hardships so I try to look at everything I can be grateful for, and every skill I can gain in my suffering.

5. What message would you like readers of your book to come away with?

I think my biggest message is that all of us have horrific, personal struggles, and private stories that can define and guide us if we let them. I would hope that aspects of my story would be helpful to someone else who has experienced something similar. I would hope that those readers who have no idea what it’s like to live a day in the life of Barbara Higgins will learn something about me and about themselves in the process of reading the book. My biggest wish is that anyone who reads it will come to know Molly and that her presence will continue to be a driving force in the lives of many.