Patton: The Naked Truth About Hampton Beach

Former Speaker of the House Tip O’Neill said famously, “All politics is local.” And so the goofy things the presidential candidates are doing are also seen at the local level.

“A week after a small group of women went topless at Hampton Beach to support the movement Free the Nipple, one legislator is vowing to find a way for towns to prohibit toplessness for women.

“State Sen. Nancy Stiles, R-Hampton, said if she cannot find a way for municipalities to prohibit women going topless this summer, she will file legislation next year to make it so in 2016. She said she is working in collaboration with state Rep. Fred Rice, R-Hampton.” (Hampton Union, 8/10/2015)

Why are legislators spending time on such nonsense? Why are some women making such a fuss about exposing their nipples when they have much more important injustices to correct? Well, there are two sides to every story, and in this case both are wrong.

What is the Free the Nipple movement? “Simply put, the objective is to strip away (pun not intended) the taboo of exposed female nipples. A major point is that if guys can walk around topless, why can’t women? Keep in mind that being topless in public isn’t technically illegal in much of the U.S.” (Gregory Babcock, Complex, 1/23/2015.)

Wait a minute. That’s it? Nothing more. Oh, I’m sure that some women will argue that this debate over toplessness dramatizes the whole issue of gender inequality. But, I grow suspicious when sex and exhibitionism are used to convey that point Other more important feminist issues such as equal pay, affordable child care, barriers to job promotion, and better health care will tend to get lost in the frenzy over exposing heretofore taboo body parts.

So, women, stand up for your rights, but don’t become a butt of jokes in the process.

And what about those who are surprised, upset, and shocked by toplessness? Consider this: the bikinis that women wear on the beach leave very, very little to the imagination. But no one is disturbed by their nearly naked condition. Ho, hum, life goes on. So what else is new? In Victorian times, women dressed that way would likely be arrested for indecent exposure.

What is and what isn’t indecent is largely a cultural thing and changes with the times. So, now when an additional square inch or two more of women’s skin is exposed, some people become apoplectic. And remember, this is New Hampshire, the land of live free or die. Here, people are permitted to walk around openly carrying semi-automatic weapons or roar past you helmetless on motorcycles. And nobody bats an eye.

So what’s to be done about toplessness at Hampton Beach. How about ignoring it? Controversy, publicity, and excitement are the oxygen upon which exhibitionists feed. Soon it will be Labor Day. The kids will go back to school, and shortly thereafter , the temperatures will become too cold to go to the beach. The exhibitionists will leave, taking the gawkers with them. And peace and tranquility will descend upon Hampton Beach. The situation will resolve itself.

And State Sen. Stiles and State Rep. Rice will have the opportunity to concern themselves with far more important things, such as resolving the current budget impasse which through legislative inaction has dragged on far too long.

Art follows life. Not all the silly things occur in the real world.

Gary Patton has recently published a political satire about New Hampshire politics entitled “Selling Mt. Washington.” “Sellling Mt. Washington” is now available in Portsmouth at the River Run Bookstore, Discover Portsmouth, and Tugboat Alley. In Exeter, this book can be obtained at The Water Street Bookstore and the Country Store at RiverWoods. In Hampton, look for it at the Galley Hatch gift shop. In North Hampton, it is available at “The Book Outlet.” In Concord, “Selling Mt. Washington” can be found at Gibson’s Bookstore. It is also available on-line at Amazon.com.