$35.
$35 for an admission to get into Canobie Lake Park.
I know this because I decided to take my kids on our once-a-year pilgrimage up the street to the amusement park. Of course, as is custom, I chose the hottest and muggiest day of the year with zero breeze because trips to amusement parks should feel like visiting Hell.
*scribbles that on brochure*
Luckily for me, my mother had purchased my two children (ages 10 and 12) passes to get into the park for Easter. Yes, Easter.
Remember when Easter meant you'd get candy and diabetes? Not any more. Today my kids get toys and amusement park passes and then, like, a Reese's Peanut Butter cup. It's like Christmas but the tree is a basket and the holiday symbol of a giant rabbit breaking into your home is somehow creepier than a magic obese guy that does it.
Where was I?
Oh. Canobie.
I - as a dad - did not get free passes to Canobie for Easter. NO. I had to pay for my own ticket at the window which - by the way - did not open until 11 am. That seems late to me for a park to open, to be honest with you, because at $35 a ticket, you'd figure they'd want to get as many people to fork over that money as early as possible. Also, by 11 am in July it's roughly 113 degrees outside with a dew point of 120 so it would be nice to be able to go on a ride without sitting in someone else's massive sweat puddle.
Now don't get me wrong - I enjoy Canobie. It's about as good as an amusement park can get when you think of a New Hampshire amusement park. Story Land, for instance, is terrible. It's like the Walmart of amusement parks. Santa's Village is decent except that all the rides are geared towards very small children and the park employees frown upon you yelling "NONE OF THIS IS REAL." FYI: your entrance fee is non-refundable if you pull that crap.
But Canobie is decent and has some good rides, albeit some OLD ones.
For instance, they still have "The Caterpillar." I rode the caterpillar when I was a wee child and keep in mind I am almost 45 years old. The Caterpillar is a ride which - if you've never been - can best be described as a tiny version of "The Himalaya," except halfway through a CANOPY COVERS THE WHOLE THING (hence, making it look like a caterpiller). It's at this point on the ride where you realize (a) HOLY CRAP THIS COVER IS NOT BREATHABLE, (b) it becomes so hot in there you actually start TANNING and (c) *passes out before I can finish 'c.'
When I woke from my ride on The Caterpillar, I introduced my children to the "Turkish Twist" which is basically like putting yourself in a spinning blender at 120 miles per hour. And then the FLOOR DROPS. And then you're suspended, stuck to the 120 mph spinning blender wall trying to either not vomit, or watch other people not vomit or trying not to vomit as other people's vomit comes creeping at you. Essentially, it's a blender full of nausea.
As a roller coaster enthusiast, Yankee Cannonball is still a fun coaster. But get there early because the line tends to extend past the entrance by 11:01.
But Canobie DOES have some saving graces with several "new" rides. The Corkscrew, Untamed (a.k.a, "Migraine Maker"), The Boston Tea Party (my favorite ride that day because it essentially saved me from evaporating) and now "Equinox" which I had the pleasure of watching my daughter go on as I stood back, watched and kept saying "SCREW THAT."
But...
My problem here is that there just simply isn't ENOUGH to warrant a $35 ticket.
Keep in mind that if I had NOT had the passes, entry to the park would have cost me $105. My kids and I ate lunch consisting of pizza, salad, chicken fingers and drinks that cost me over $40 (although typical for an amusement park). Add in waters and crap and my total for the day would have been closer to $200.
$200.
$200 for 3 people to go to Canobie for 7 hours.
Too much? Yes, I think so. Did we have fun? Sure. But $200 for 3 people?!
In comparison, I took my kids to Six Flags New England and got the tickets there for THE SAME PRICE. Giant roller coasters (and LOTS of them). Tons and tons of games. We actually spent the night in the area (albeit hiding from gunshots in a hotel in downtown Springfield) but were able to go back a SECOND day for free.
The biggest difference is that Six Flags is not smack dab in a residential area. As such, there are no height or sound restrictions which give way to better rides and a better overall amusement park experience. Canobie keeps expanding and adding new rides, but with the strict policy on height and sound, there's only so much excitement they can use as a draw.
When we went, on a warm sunny Sunday, there were no lines. Good for us, but maybe indicative that Canobie is overpriced by at least $10 for an adult ticket. I really think they need to drop the price, or give us rides that make it worth the cost...or at least SEEM to make it worth the cost.
If they drop the price, though, I'm totally spending the $10 I save on Pepto Bismol.
Stupid Caterpillar.
