This day would change my family forever...

DISCLAIMER: The following is a true story told to me by a student. It was so cool I thought I’d share it with you. I have withheld the names of the student and his son to protect the innocent and the names of the bully’s and their father to protect the ignorant. Enjoy…

This day would change me, my son, and my family forever…

It was two summers ago when I went to pick up my 10 year old son from soccer practice. Something I had done countless times before.  He was a fair player with pretty good skills but he lacked confidence to really attack the ball. Something his coach had told him on more than one occasion. As I walked towards the field I saw a kid on the ground with two boys standing over him kicking him with their soccer shoes as he struggled to get away. I got a little closer and realized it was my son they were kicking. “Hey, leave him alone”, I yelled as they took off laughing. I helped my son up and asked him what happened.  “Nothing,” he responded trying not to cry. He had scratches all over his arms and legs and his soccer shirt was torn. I didn’t push the issue because he was clearly upset.

As we headed for the car he told me about the two brothers and their bullying. I told him that he needed to stand up for himself and not let people push him around. I had experienced a few bully problems when I was younger but it was a long time ago and I can’t recall how I dealt with them.  Little did I know that this incident would change me, my son, and my family forever…

what happened next caught me completely by surprise…

…As I was loading up the car at the soccer field I noticed my son’s face change suddenly so I asked him what was up. He didn’t have time to answer because the two boys whom had just been bullying him appeared with their father. It seems that I had parked right next to their car. I told my son that I was going to have a word with their father.  He pleaded with me to just “leave it alone” but I was determined to show him that standing up for himself was important.

As I approached them something caught me a little by surprise. The boys saw me approaching but didn’t seem nervous at all. In fact they were smiling right at me. Okay I thought, smile you little creeps, but in a few minutes your father will be ripping you a new one and then we’ll see how funny this seems.

What happened next caught me completely by surprise…

to be quite honest, I was scared. .. 

I asked their father if he had a second to talk. He was a stocky man with a flat top crew cut and a noticeably strong physique. I told him what I had just saw and how his kids have been picking on my son. He told me that he “raised his boys to handle their own scrapes” and suggested I should do the same with mine. Not exactly the response I expected.  I told him that was his choice as a parent but explained that two against one isn’t fair. The next thing I know he gets right in my face and asks me “Is that the problem? Two against one?” I took a step back and realized that my heart was beating very fast and my hands were sweating. To be quite honest, it reminded me of when I was a kid in school leaning back on my chair until it almost tipped over backwards. That feeling of impending doom was what I was feeling right now. It was fear.  “Yes…it isn’t fair,” My voice cracked. “Well then let’s make it fair,” he replied nastily. I could not believe what this moron said next…

my effort to protect my bullied son revealed my own fears…

My back was now up against his SUV and he was standing about 6 inches away from me when he told me that if “two against one was the problem than one of my sons will fight your kid”.  “Are you kidding? I asked, I don’t want my kid fighting anyone”.  “All I want is for your kids to stop picking on my son.”  He leaned into me and said, “Well than maybe you and I should handle this.” That’s what I thought I was doing, handling it. But that’s not what he meant. He grabbed my shirt and pinned me up against his car. I put my hands up because I thought he was going to hit me but he let go instead. Maybe he saw my absolute fear. I don’t know why he let me go but he did. He stepped back and said, “Just what I thought, a real tough guy.” I’m not sure what gave him the idea I thought I was a tough guy. I’m just a father trying to protect my son.

He and his devil children got in their SUV and started backing up. I was still frozen in the same place where he grabbed me. He rolled down his window smiled and said, “You and your daughter can leave now”. I could hear them laughing as they pulled away. Their SUV was blocking the view and I don’t think my son saw anything. The whole thing only lasted about a minute but my heart was still racing. All I could think about was how scared I was and how I thought he really was going to hit me. I was ashamed that my effort to protect my bullied son revealed my own fear.

I got in the car and he quickly asked me what happened. “Nothing” I said angrily. “Wow”, I thought, that was the same answer he gave me when I asked him about the bullying.  The silence on the way home was becoming uncomfortable so I turned on the radio. The Harry Chapin song, Cats in the Cradle was on. I know the song well and listened closely to the lyrics. Listening to that song after what had just happened was a sign. I decided right then and there that my son was never going to feel helpless again. He was NOT going to be just like me. Not in this way. Now I was on a quest. They messed with the wrong systems analyst and P90X enthusiast.  Now it was my time to take action and this is just what I did…

the look on her face said it all…

As soon as I got home I went online to look for a martial arts school for my son. It’s something we had talked about but never looked into because he has so many things he’s involved in. Between school, homework, soccer, baseball, and piano there’s not much time for anything else. My wife is usually the one that has to bring him everywhere and she’s been a little stressed lately about not having any time for herself. 

I found 5 schools within driving distance. My son had just finished telling his mom about the bullying when I walked in the kitchen with print outs of martial arts schools. The look on her face said it all…something else to drive to and wait around.  As she walked out of the kitchen I knew this was going to be an argument later on that night. Since I had already avoided one beating today maybe I’d get lucky and she wouldn’t bring it up. Yeah right.

I explained what happened skipping the part about myself and the father. No point in shattering her opinion of what a stud-muffin I am. I had already decided to double my P90X workouts and add a little Pilates to help me get diesel. That and I was ashamed.

We talked about it and even though she was not happy about adding another activity she does not want to see our son get hurt or bullied. We decided that we’d find a good school. As she handed me a pillow for the couch she said, “When you met me I was a fitness instructor and now I’m just a fat mom chauffeur”. She is not fat at all but the door closed before I could tell her that.

We checked out a few schools and now it’s been two years… 

now he sees the “MMA fighter” inside this systems analyst.

…since we began training with Master Richard Raciti. He is truly a unique and amazing man. My son is now a confident Blue Belt and accomplished grappler. My wife couldn’t be happier because she fell in love with the Boot Camp and Kickboxing classes that work perfectly with our schedule. Mr. Raciti even talked me into trying a class. After telling him my story…and leaving in the part about psycho dad he felt that the training would benefit me greatly. It took some coaxing and I did try a kickboxing class but it wasn’t for me. Having my son and wife involved is enough for me I told him. He wasn’t buying it. He convinced me to try a Sil Jun Do class…and I was addicted after the first ½ hour. I loved the way the system was designed around real world situations. It was fluid, thought provoking, simple to do and it made sense. I recently started taking the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes and I am loving it as well. Everyone in the gym from the instructors to the students are truly some of the nicest people I have ever interacted with. I didn’t plan on any of this but walking in Master Raciti's academy has been a blessing for my whole family. Without going into detail, my son “handled” his problem with the two boys. Apparently they are now familiar with a “Kimura” technique. The father has seen me a few times at the soccer games…hard not to since I sit right next to him…but has never said a word. I’d like to think it’s because I look different. I have an air of confidence that I have never had before...or now he see’s the “MMA fighter” inside this systems analyst.

If you’re interested in creating a great ending to your personal story, whatever it may be, call RUSH Defense & Fitness Academy in Bernardsville at 908-566-7099.