Week of Respect at BHS: Dissolving "Words of Hate"

The October 3-7 “Week of Respect” is already off to a good start.  At Bloomfield High School on Tuesday, students participated in an activity that made them feel, as student Shyanne Palacios put it, “really good for the school."

“This helps everybody realize it hurts more than you think [to be bullied,]” said Palacios, a sophomore. “I think it will help people have sympathy towards other people.”

The Bloomfield school district's weeklong initiative was designed to comply with the “Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights,” mandated this year for all New Jersey schools.  Specialized daily activities during the Week of Respect create awareness of the destructive power of bullying and help students find effective ways to cope with it.

“If we can get someone to just pause for a moment before they pull that weapon out of their arsenal, we’ve done our job,” declared BHS Anti-Bullying Coordinator Cindy Sherman, referring to insulting comments students routinely use to intimidate or belittle one another.  “I believe bullies act out of a sense of inadequacy.  It’s the bully who is more wounded [than the victim].  It’s only way they can feel powerful.  Our job is to break that cycle.”

Tuesday’s activity involved students writing “words of hate” on slips of paper and tossing them into a small pool. As the words faded away in the water, students felt the hurtful words had symbolically disappeared.

Surrounded by a group of friends, senior Micheal Braun dropped his paper in the water saying, “I wrote the word 'bitch' because I think it’s a term that shouldn’t be used.”

When asked whether he thought the activity would permanently stop his peers from using cruel or negative words he answered, “Probably not.  But it’s a start.  It’s a start somewhere.”

Senior Julia Zahriyeh said she had written the phrase, "I doubt you’ll ever make it" on her paper because, “in elementary school, bullies told me, ‘You’ll never make it in life.’  It was to put me down and make me feel like I’m worth nothing.”

Palacios confided, “I put [the words] ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ because those are two words that always hurt.  I was called that every day in elementary school.”

“Girls are tough. Girls are relentless,” admitted Ellen Roscitt, Dean of Discipline at BHS.  “I think a lot of [bullying] has to do with sexual innuendo, racism, words like 'retarded', 'stupid', 'fat', 'queer'.”

“It’s especially damaging for the kid who may be questioning his gender identity, to hear words like ‘fag’ or ‘queer’, ” said Sherman, who runs the school’s G.L.O.W. club, which stands for “Gay, Lesbian Or Whatever.” 

Roscitt has spent 31 years in the Bloomfield School system.  She says she during that time she has seen significant progress in students’ levels of tolerance. “You name the “ism” – racism, sexism, body image issues – you name it, I’ve seen improvement,” she said. “We as a staff don’t tolerate [discrimination.]  We give students that message loud and clear.”

Sherman and Roscitt acknowledge that the Week of Respect activities in combination with the tough legislation may prove to be powerful agents of change.

Simply put, the Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights deems bullying – cyber or otherwise -- a crime punishable by law.  Acts of harassment must be reported immediately to parents, the school principal and the Superintendent. An investigation must be completed within 10 days; employees who fail to act on or report an incident can face disciplinary action.

Widely considered the toughest anti-bullying legislation in America, Sherman said students are well aware of the consequences they could face under the new law. “It’s now a crime, if you’re caught,” she said.  “There are forms of bullying that are now considered criminal offenses.”

“I don’t know if [the students will stop] because they want to or because they don’t want to get in trouble,” Roscitt added. "But the students are responding."

For their part, the students on Tuesday seemed happy to participate in an activity that addressed an issue that had affected all of them at one time or another.

“I think about these things a lot,” admitted Braun, “at my youth group at church and in my philosophy class.”

“My bottom line is, I don’t believe bullying should be considered a ‘rite of passage’ . . ." said Sherman, who is committed to working on anti-bullying activities with the students all year.  "A lot of people have come together here for a common purpose, to see how we can we make this a safe place to be.” 

“In the short term people will honestly hear the message, but long term they’ll probably slip back into their old ways.  Kind of like a diet,” observed Palacios sagely.  “You’re not going to completely abolish it in one year but if you have one less bully . . . in the end, you could save a life.”