Anti-Bullying Rally In Brick Presses Need For Change In Laws

BRICK, NJ — The father walked to the end of the dock at Lake Riviera Park and paused briefly, looking out over the water. Then he walked back to where the crowd was standing.

The dock was where his son was fishing on the evening of Sept. 14, and where the 13-year-old boy's family says he was attacked and humiliated with inappropriate touches and acts by two students while a group of about 20 middle and high school students blocked his escape.

"This isn't something you should have to come out here to hear," the father said as he thanked the crowd of more than 100 people who gathered for the anti-bullying rally on Saturday at the park. "I really want to take this day to stand up against bullies, to let (his son) know not everyone is OK with bullying."

The family did not speak about the ongoing investigation in the incident on Sept. 14 except to express frustration at its pace and what appears to them to be a lack of consequences for the children involved — a complaint they say they have heard repeatedly since the father spoke publicly about the incident. Read more: Group Of Teens Assaulted Boy, 13, At Park In Brick, Dad Alleges

Patch is not identifying the boy or his family due to the nature of the incident. Ocean County Prosecutor Bradley Billhimer said his office is aware of the alleged incident but that law enforcement and Brick Township school officials would not be commenting because the matter involves juveniles.

"I have been contacted by so many parents who are going through similar things," the boy's father said.

Some of those in the crowd relayed their own stories. The group was a mix of parents, grandparents and children, and included Brick Mayor Lisa Crate and council members Vince Minichino and Marianna Pontoriero — none of them spoke to the group but they did speak with the father after the rally.

The state's Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying law sets out a policy for how schools are supposed to address bullying, but many parents have said the law fails to halt bullying in many cases. And because of laws regarding student and juvenile privacy, the students who are the target of bullying aren't informed of what, if any, consequences are meted out to their tormenters.

That's why the boy's family is striving to change laws and procedures around bullying in school, to ensure that children who are victims of bullying aren't left feeling their reports are for naught.

It's a feeling Michael Kuch knows all too well. Kuch, whose daughter Adriana took her own life in February after repeated bullying led to an attack in the hallway at Central Regional High School in Bayville, where the 14-year-old was a freshman. The attack, which was filmed by some of those involved, and Adriana's death became international news as students protested over the handling of the incident and bullying at Central in general. Read more: 'We Want Justice': Central Students Protest After Classmate's Death

Kuch did not speak about the status of the criminal charges that eventually were filed against four girls in connection with the filmed attack on his daughter. But he urged parents and students who were present to push for action.

"It's not up to the school to decide who gets prosecuted, it's up to the prosecutor," Kuch said. He said parents need to understand that school resource officers cannot make the decision to press charges, which was one of the issues that surfaced after Adriana's death.

He also said current law does not require parental notification of violent incidents at school; a parent must file a request for the information under the federal Family Educational Privacy And Rights Act.

An amendment to the federal Parents Bill of Rights Act would require school officials to notify parents of any video recordings of violent incidents that occur at school.

Kuch said current laws and policies end up protecting the privacy of the tormenters.

"The only person who doesn't get to hide is the victim," Kuch said.

The boy's father said Kuch has been a resource for him and his family, and they are hoping to become a resource for other families who find themselves faced with a child being bullied.

"He kept me from losing my mind," the father said.

"There's nothing that a parent wants more than to take away the pain from their child," Kuch said.

The two men say they want to be a resource for other families so no one feels alone dealing with it. Kuch has a TikTok account, Justice 4 Age, to help promote change in the laws, and the boy's father said they are setting up social media accounts to promote their Stop Bullying message, which was emblazoned on T-shirts worn by family and friends.

The two men said it will take a large community effort to bring change to the laws, such as the effort that started with Adriana's classmates walking out of school at Central Regional that brought an international spotlight to her story.

It also requires that the community understand that bullying in 2023 is not the same as what today's parents experienced in the 1970s, '80s and '90s, they said.

"They are putting it on social media. They are annihilating each other," the boy's father said.

He noted that he received multiple suggestions saying his son should fight back against his attackers, hit them or whatever is necessary to stand up to them.

"What happens when he accidentally takes another kid's life?" the father said, rejecting the suggestion. "He will be labeled the bad kid, and he will have to live with the consequences."

The children who are bullying others need to face consequences, particularly those who are middle school and high school age, and the message that there are consequences has to be delivered to the rest of the students, he said, both those who are victimized and those who stand by in bullying situations.

"What are kids who are innocent seeing when they see these kids in school" after getting a slap on the wrist," the father said.

The boy's father told Patch he went to the home of one of the children present the night of the attack to confront the parents of one child. That boy's mother sent him a message on Facebook, saying: "Don't ever come to my house like that unless you want me to do something! Trespassing and harassment on you!! You need to get your facts straight. It was (child's name redacted)! Idk how (second child)'s name is involved he was just there. Hope (the victim) is OK. They used to be such good friends."

"These outrageous acts have to stop," he said at the rally.

"I'm just one voice," the boy's father said. "With all of your voices, that's how we're going to help push the change."

A GoFundme campaign has been created to help with expenses in getting the message out. Those interested can donate here.

Clarification: School board member Madeline Colagiovanni-Iannarone was present at the rally but did not speak to the boy's family.