Welcome back to the bagel battle ... let's get ready to rumble! This week, we are going to have two coffee giants square off in a bagel cage match: Starbucks verses Dunkin' Donuts. These two international companies have been fighting one another for quite some time, even by trying to be one another at times. Example: Starbucks offers some more goodies than they have in the past, and budget-priced quick-brew java, and Dunkin' Donuts added lattes (in fancier cups) to their beverage lineup, seemingly much to the chagrin of their workers. I know that Starbucks is outnumbered 2 to 1 in the Caldwells, but in the spirit of professional wrestling, let's pretend that Starbucks has a foreign object in their trunks to balance things out.
Bagel Bias
It must be disclosed that the idea of buying and enjoying bagels to this writer at a Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks is a bit laughable – and tantamount to expecting authentic Italian food at Olive Garden. They have the guts to sell them, though, so I am going to rate 'em!
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The twist this time around is that bagel places sell muffins and the like as add-ons; with this group of places, bagels are the add-ons. Let's see if it ends up being a case of addition by ... addition? Here goes!
Starbucks
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Here's a little-known fact: The coffee definers (or so they think) residing in the space where Quigley's Pharmacy was for so many years (I bought some cool bracelets there in 1986) is actually a big bagel seller. Throughout the years, ups (earlier on) and downs (read as: now), Starbucks has constantly had them on offer. It used to be a plain game; nowadays they have flavors like asiago cheese (has a male ever purchased one of these?) in the mix. On my visit, I ordered up a plain bagel, and threw in a grande decaf skinny vanilla latte for good measure (there goes my machismo).
Taste: Starbucks, this is not the year 2001 anymore – you're going to have to try a little harder. This rather small, mishapen "bagel" was flat on one side, for starters. It was also somewhat overcooked (read as: burned) on the outside, like it was grilled. It was also hard (so SB, actually don't try harder, try more), both in texture, and to eat. The taste was weird. It seemed that the recipe was an attempt to echo the taste of a classic bagel, but ended up being closer to Lender's.
I was perplexed – how could Starbucks sell such things? Was my bagel an anomaly? I peeked into the glass case where they sell them (next to the 50% smaller scones selling at the same price – the 'bucks has really changed for the worse in this area) and they all looked the same as mine. I asked the on-duty barista behind the machines for her bagel ruminations.
"I like them," she began over the "gggggaaazzzzzzz" of the her machines, while a wristband-ed arm and hand help a cup. "The place that makes them makes good bagels." Ah-ha! Starbucks doesn't make their own bagels! That's right – it may not be much of a surprise (the part I'm writing next, not that the barista likes these things), but the Seattle-born brewery gets their bagels (and poundcake) from an outside baker in ... Brooklyn. Welcome back, bagels. But wouldn't even sweathogs in that outer NYC borough know how to bust out a good bagel?
Dunkin' Donuts in West Caldwell
The recently relocated, expanded, and popular U.S. Postal Service delivery guy hangout had an impressive amount of bagels on the racks: varieties included everything, multigrain, and wheat. Save for the low carb "flavor" (words cannot describe!), that may be the entire lineup that the chain is currently offering –except for one. During my visit, plain bagels were nowhere to be found.
Faster than I could say, "Why are maple frosted donuts offered only seasonally?" and/or "Why do you keep changing the size of the chocolate chip cookies?" I asked if any were to be had. A high-schooler said he'd check in the back. A moment later, the lil' munchkin (get it?) reappeared with one.
Taste: This plain bagel was a little bit of a surprise – had some height, and felt/looked liked a bagel. The taste was more like a roll than bagel, but not too bad. I must add that the the multigrain bagels are great – when ordering one, get it toasted, and try to eat it within seconds; it's a race against time, taste wise.
As of late, bagels at DD's have sort of been de-emphasized; egg sandwiches also come on wraps and flatbreads now. "Bakin' Bagels" was a big campaign for a while, but now, it's more of an "oh yes, we have those, too" thing.
Dunkin' Donuts in Caldwell
Throughout this whole contest, one constant has been workers at the stores asking for clarification when hearing the following order: "Just a plain bagel?" Yes, just a plain bagel. The guy at the Caldwell DDs just about set a record for number of repeats of this very question. After we both finally escaped this vortex, I had my plain bagel, which was the actually only kind in the racks. Upon inspection it appeared to be identical to the sample from West Caldwell, but this one had a taste all its own.
Taste: For starters, this bagel was hard. I don't think it was because it was only stale, though. I think DDs counts on the customer getting their bagels toasted, so when they formulate their bagels hard and softness isn't a priority. Or, maybe now they have an alibi. I tried to get past the re … aged quality of this bagel – was it as good as the one I tried in West Caldwell? I'd have to say it wasn't. Since the recipe is obviously chain mandated, it comes down to the baking method. Where it wasn't hardened yet, it was rubbery. Readers, this bagel was bad … I ate it for you.
About three days after I visited the Caldwell Dunkin' Donuts, it temporarily closed down for remodeling – perhaps I accidentally sampled some building material?
So, Who's Better?
I'd have to go with Dunkin' Donuts West Caldwell location. It was no Bagelwich bagel, but it was tasty.
Dunkin' Donuts, West Caldwell (584 Passaic Ave.)
Dunkin' Donuts, Caldwell (226 Bloomfield Ave.)
Price of plain bagel at both Dunkin' Donuts locations: .99 - 1.06 with tax.
Starbucks (546 Passaic Ave., West Caldwell)
Price of plain bagel: $1
Next time: Sam's
Epilogue - Great Reader Response!
I've received a nice amount of feedback on this "bagel battle." Last week, I received a passionate (and cool) mail from "blarkey1" that brought up and actually re-enforced some of the exact points I've had during this whole run. I've been working on the theory/fear that what exactly a bagel should taste like is being lost to the ages; just 10 years ago, there was much more of a clear, defined taste of what is a bagel. I'm concerned things are evolving to the point where in some cases bagels are becoming rolls with holes.
As "blarkey1" put it: "People will eat and get used to anything" and if bagels "don't have a thick (boiled) crust, it's not a real bagel." I can't argue with that.
Bagel Buyer Beware
Hey healthy folk, the mail also reminded me of a big bagel trick that's being perpetrated by a lot of sellers: wheat bagels are not always 100% wheat. In other words, they do have wheat flour, but just enough to make them appear darker in color, ergo, simulated whole wheat. Some 100% wheat bagels are out there, though – you just have to ask. It's kinds of like when you buy wheat bread at the supermarket, only there's no label you can read for verification.
Where's My Guts?
Finally, "blarkey1" admonished me to "be more NJ!" While I haven't totally operated from a position of having my dander up, hopefully this installment is more reality show for you, and everyone else!
