Beach Bods and Books

Hooray, hooray it’s the fourth of May, Chatham Patch blog begins today!

I hope to entertain, inform and inspire readers of the world, erm... the Chathams with a wide array of blogworthy topics.  

As a typical Gemini, I can make a wall talk and write with authority on virtually any subject. I’ll try to keep my blog postings to subjects that appeal to everyone.  Take Pippa Middleton, for example. Well, perhaps the beach would be a better first topic.

With the hardcore killing of America’s most wanted criminal on Sunday, some people may be concerned about heightened homeland security alerts, and choose to stay close to Jersey shores this summer. 

First, let’s focus on some standard tips for a swimsuit-ready beach experience.

Ladies:

1. Start the diet and exercise right now.
2. Wear a big hat; it will make your bottom half look smaller.
3. Remove all unwanted body hair.
4. Exfoliate skin and use a self-tanner.
5. Buy a great pair of sandals to go with a great pedicure.
6. Spend some serious time learning how to tie a sarong.
7. Find that 'ol self-confidence...it looks better than the best fitting swimsuit.
8. Stand tall and smile.

Gentlemen:

See above, but ignore #6.

Next, what’s a beach without a book? With almost everyone having access to MP3 players, summer reading can easily become summer listening. In Jersey, getting to the beach may require patience and a good audio book streaming from the car radio.

An MP3 gadget can be amplified through car speakers with an inexpensive cable, tucked into running shorts for the morning jog, and nestled into a waterproof case for protection from the sand.

With a plethora of audio books available from online venues, you’ll be burning through books faster than sunscreen this summer.

Lastly, before heading to the shore, you may just want to familiarize yourself with The 36 Most Ridiculous Things Found On New Jersey Beaches.