Using Facebook to Reach Teens Coping with Tough Stuff - One Card at a Time

One of my passions over the years has been to find a way to reach, support and encourage as many struggling teens as I possibly can. My goal is to help these teens know that they are not alone, that they can get through whatever it is they are faced with, that things will get better, and that there are helpful resources, coping strategies and safe and trusting adults to turn to.

I am currently writing a book for teens, but decided to start reaching them immediately. Since I probably spend more time on Facebook than anyone I know, including my own teens, it came to me to start a page on FB dedicated to teens (and those who care about them including friends, family, teachers and other adults) who are coping with all different types of challenges, loss and other tough stuff. This way teens can immediately find the help, support and encouragement they may need right now. This allows them to find information for themselves or for a friend online in their own time and anonymously.

Last month, I created a page: Grief Speaks 4 Teens. Since my website is Griefspeaks.com and my other GS Facebook page is Grief Speaks, I thought I would add 4 Teens to make it focus on issues that affect today's teenager. Please visit it and "like" it if you do. Then you will see daily cards written by teens in thier own handwriting asking for help, voicing thier worries and concerns or sharing what helps them get through tough times.

The page contains anonymous index cards that students write to me in their classroom during my presentation, sharing difficult things that they've gone through, what they are going through currently or something or have a question about. I also ask them to include whatever has helped them through it, as well as to share other stress relievers, if they have any. I have received thousands of index cards over the years from teens about four states so far. My goal is to have teens from all around the world be able to send me cards. I just secured a P.O. Box for that purpose. The address is Grief Speaks 4 Teens, P.O. Box 155, Springfield, N.J. 07081. After I collect them and decide if they would be helpful for other teens, I will post and respond.

I have told students that I am writing a book based on all of the cards and that I may even include some of their cards, but will only use those that are not too specific. I look to use cards that seem to be a common thread among teens and on topics that I receive often such as parents' fighting, coping with a divorce, illness in the family, helping a friend who is depressed or using drugs or abusing alcohol,  coping with a sudden or not sudden death, grief, loss of friendships, bullying, sexual orientation issues, living with a parent with an addiction or mental illness, mental health issues, adoption issues, dating violence, depression, self injury, eating disorders, anxiety, grandparents with Alzheimer's or dementia, and more. Teens I speak with are very excited for me to finish the book.

Teens and their teachers appreciate hearing what other teens are going through, as I read many index cards to them at the beginning of my presentation to them in health class or in assemblies.  It helps them to know that are "normal" and that they are not the only ones going through something and that it gets better. It also helps them to learn what helps other teens cope as well as the importance of developing healthy coping skills, problem solving techniques and a support network.

On the page, www.facebook.com/GriefSpeaks4Teens  I add a few new cards each day. Some are what teens share that help them cope while others are questions or comments about their individual life struggles. I then provide a response to those that need one and also provide websites, book titles, YouTube clips, song clips and other resources.

This is a great page for parents, teachers, school counselors, coaches, grandparents, aunts and uncles, mentors, youth leaders, clergy and anyone who wants to know what is on the minds and in the hearts of our teens today. I just had a teacher share with me yesterday that he spent a long time on the site with a student who came to him after school for support on a particular issue. They both were able to learn new ways to approach the issue as well as find resources. The teacher told me he thought that this site was going to be a great way to reach so many young people who need help but often don't tell us. 

You will also learn about many new resources as well that you may not have even known existed, such as my all time favorite: 2nd Floor Youth Helpline for NJ youth 10-24 years old:  (www.2ndfloor.org) 1-888-222-2228.  Helpline is operated 24/7 and run by trained counselors and is confidential.

Thanks for caring about teenagers and being an important person in thier lives who they can talk to and open up to without fear of judement. Remember that by providing a support network of safe and trusting adults to young people and modeling healthy coping skills, we naturally nurture resilience in them.

"Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” ― Fred Rogers