Dr. Nicole Fried Talks About the Importance of Anti-Bullying in Schools

Dr. Nicole Fried, psychologist for the Hasbrouck Heights School District, was chosen this June to take on the newly created role of Anti-Bullying Coordinator as mandated by the state.

Fried feels that educating students on the significance of bullying is of the utmost importance today.

“I definitely think the use of technology has changed bullying significantly. People can be anonymous when they say things and so people are definitely saying more than, I think, they would say if they had to say it face to face to somebody. That anonymity is also very disconcerting to students because they don’t know who’s saying it and so that’s where the harassment piece comes in. Somebody’s basically defaming them online,” said Fried.

In addition, Fried explains that there are three components to every bullying scenario: the Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander. The Bystander, rarely considered in the past, is now coming under more scrutiny for the part he/she plays in this situation.

“I think it’s just a fundamental right for people to come to school and learn. I really think bullying does impede that,” Fried said.

But she understands the difficulty in standing up to one’s peers. “We’re almost asking our students to have courage and do something that I hope we as adults can do.”

Fried has a number of plans to establish her new position. The first is to re-examine the district policy on bullying. The Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying (or HIB) Policy will be updated to cover all kinds of incidents.

She will also be revising the forms for the investigation and reporting of bullying. These forms will be explained to parents, teachers, school staff and students so that they fully understand how to report and deal with bullying.

Fried explained another policy of establishing “school safety teams” in each school.

“That’s going to consist of a principal or his or her designee, an anti-bullying specialist in each building, a parent of a student in that building and anyone else that the principal thinks should be part of that group,” she said.

Further plans are scheduled for the first week of October, called the “Week of Respect.” This week will consist of character education exercises, talks on cyber-bullying and peer mediation.

But there are cases where parents may just believe their child is ‘teasing’ and the situation is not serious.  “

Fried has the answer to that. She said, “Bullying is really a power imbalance. So if there is a power imbalance and somebody’s not teasing back that is where the issue lies. So teasing is fine if there is a give and take. If there’s not a give and take then that is what we consider bullying.”

This is especially true when race, gender, nationality, sexual orientation or sexual identity play a role in the “teasing” she explained.

Fried, however, assures that the goal is not to punish anyone but to educate and figure out why this behavior is present. She insists that the process must be positive to get results. The task is to understand and correct.

But, she is confident that her mission will only be aided by the people of Hasbrouck Heights.

“I think this is a great district. I think there are a lot of warm and caring people here so I feel like we’re starting on third base. We already are close to home. That’s positive. I think we just need to give a voice to this. A little bit more than we have,” said Fried.