8th Street Tavern: Eh, Okay, Sure

Sorry Hoboken, but after two weeks of reviewing shiny brand-new bars, it was a little depressing to come back to my desk and slog through the list of old bars again. The taps at were sparkling! The bartenders at all had a glimmer in their eye! In the end, I packed it in, grabbed a friend and dragged her with me to .

I think I’ve only been inside 8th Street once before, on St. Patrick’s Day, which I know is obviously the worst day to judge a bar. It wasn’t so bad, then, except for this one guy who kept rattling off Charlie Sheen quotes. I couldn’t roll my eyes hard enough. But with the crisp air of fall beginning to move in, I decided to give the place another shot. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t great.

8th Street Tavern is located on Washington Avenue at 8th Street, and is exactly one block away from the Stevens campus. This is an important fact to know, because if you go, you will be surrounded by college kids and frat boys. They will be talking about their take-home exams and the last girl they brought home from an “Anything But Clothes” party, and while you sip your beer you will feel like you are 100 years old.

8th Street Tavern is the kind of place where they have Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap and everything is cash-only. The bar is long and U-shaped, so there wasn’t too much trouble finding a seat. I think I counted about 15 beers on tap, all the standard dive-bar fare. Nothing too fancy, but nothing too interesting.

Outside there is a big banner proclaiming $2 Labbatt drafts from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m., which is kind of weird for a bar in Hoboken to be pushing a cheap Canadian beer. Is 8th Street a secret haven for Canadian ex-pats? Yeah, I kind of doubt it. Anyway, my friend and I arrived at the tail end of this special, but managed to grab a few drinks anyway. Who am I to say no to $2 beer?

On the plus side, 8th Street does have some pretty fun bar games. I am a big fan of shuffleboard bowling, but there’s pool and darts, too. There’s Big Buck Hunter and Photo Hunt if you’re into “technology” or  “video screens.” There’s also an okay outdoor space, but it faces the street, and you should know by now that I don’t like having strollers being pushed by me while I’m trying to get my booze on.

Like I said, the crowd skewed a little young, with a few old grizzled guys peppered in to make the place feel just creepy enough.

“I hope I am never single again, because I don’t want to have to come to places like this to pick up a date,” said my friend, to which I could only sigh dejectedly in agreement to. We clinked our glasses of Labbatt, but that actually just made us feel more sad.

“Do you want to play a game or something?” I asked, but by this point the dark décor was just bumming us out. There were neon signs on the walls and dark wood trim. It made me think that this is what bars in rural Texas were like, where the locals would run you over with a pick-up truck if you didn't want to try their armadillo soup. Am I making sense? No? Okay.

At this point, I excused myself to go to the bathroom, which is a place that you would really like if you’ve ever spent time in a Russian prison and wish you could go back. Okay, I’m kidding, it’s not really that bad, but it still is definitely no place for a classy lady like me.

By the time I came back, we both felt it was time to move on, so we paid out tab (yes, it was unbelievably cheap which was a big plus) and greeted the outdoors again.

Alright, so maybe this review is veering a bit on the dramatic side. There are cheap beers, games and you probably won’t have to fight for a seat at the bar. On the other hand, the crowd will be a mix of college kids and old creepers, and the atmosphere inside will make you feel like your soul just got sucked out of your body. I’m going to give 8th Street Tavern five out of 10 frosty mugs. It’s definitely not the worst place in Hoboken, but I'm not going to make it a destination.

800 Washington Street; 201-963-7677.

The Bar Hopper is a sometimes tongue-in-cheek look at Hoboken's abundant bar scene. The views expressed in these reviews are half-sloshed, and do not reflect the overall views of Patch.