Hoboken Councilman Gives Classy Response After 'Gay Slur' Text

HOBOKEN, NJ — When Hoboken Councilman Michael DeFusco learned about Irene Korman Sobolov’s controversial “Butt Buddies” text message, he could have gotten peeved about it. But instead, DeFusco said that he wants the community to see an ill-worded text from the Hoboken Board of Education member as a learning opportunity.

If DeFusco, a gay man who has been vocal about local LGBT rights, had been upset with Sobolov following her text - which was sent to the entire BOE and contained the words “Butt Buddies” and a link to an article with his name – there are some Mile Square City residents who would have understood.

"For the good of the school district, she should resign," school board member John Madigan told NJ.com. "We have a gay-straight student alliance in the high school. You think that's going to make them feel welcome?"

But DeFusco says that although seeing the text “hurt,” he only wants the incident to be seen as a “teachable moment” and doesn’t think that Sobolov should resign.

“Hoboken is far too divided and I'd like to work with Irene, and everybody, to make our city a better, more inclusive place," DeFusco said in an email to NJ Advance Media. "I believe in a future where politics come second to doing what's right.”

Read the full report here.

Sobolov, who allegedly has no intention of resigning from the BOE, said she “accidentally” sent the text to her eight fellow board members and was unaware that the phrase has been historically used as a gay slur.

Sobolov apologized to DeFusco and the Hoboken community and said that she “truly regrets the situation,” NJ.com stated.

The Hoboken Board of Education member and mother of three was re-elected to her post in November and was named “Citizen of the Year” during a Hoboken Elks Club ceremony in 2010.

"Irene espouses everything that the Elks stand for," former Exalted Leader Bea Inhulson said during the ceremony, describing the fourth-generation Hoboken resident. "She's a great mom, involved in every community event. She's totally committed to everything she's involved in. She'll roll up her sleeves and help cook, she helps with soccer. And she's a nice person."

• See related article: Elks Club Award H.S. Scholarships, Citizen of the Year

Don’t forget to visit the Patch Hoboken Facebook page here.

DeFusco’s classy response and message of understanding and tolerance isn’t the first time a Hoboken councilman has shown poise when confronted with controversial texts and social media posts.

In May of 2016, Council President Ravinder Bhalla – a “proud Sikh” - responded to an internet troll’s comment that he was a “terrorist” with a mic-drop retort that inspired waves of support.

“Sir, I was born and raised in America,” Bhalla wrote. “You clearly don't know what it means to be an American.”

• See related article: Hoboken Councilman Responds To Racist Tweet Calling Him 'Terrorist'

Send local news tips, photos and press releases to eric.kiefer@patch.com

Photo: Michael DeFusco, Twitter