Mom Q&A: Ten Tips for When Potty-Training Goes Awry.

Q:  How do I tell my houseguest that my almost-but-not-quite potty-trained child just peed on her laptop?

A:  OK, this is my question, which I unfortunately had cause to ask myself last night.

First, it probably would have been prudent to advise your houseguest not to leave her laptop on the playroom/guestroom floor.  But the deed is done.

Second, I recommend NOT doing what I did, which is trying (not very successfully) to hold back near-hysterical giggles while explaining, “she mostly just got the screen.”  Luckily, my houseguest is a very understanding person.  And her laptop still works.

Really, this question reflects a larger issue, which is how do I follow the guideline that the best way to potty train is just to put a child in underwear, while dealing with the inevitable accidents that occur at the most inconvenient times and places?

I’m not going to go into the details of my now five-year-old’s potty-training days, because she’d be furious, but let it suffice to say that if you need advice on how to potty train quickly and without tears, I am not the person to ask.  Alas, now that I’m in round 2 with my second child, I do have ample experience in how to handle it when potty training goes awry. 

So here are ten tips from the trenches:

1)   Clean up as much as you can.  If you’re at, say, Chock-full-of-Nuts or Panera (just hypothetically speaking), a few carefully-placed paper towels can go a long way to making sure that at least no one slips and falls.

2)  Own up.  Do not try to make a quick escape.  Tell the manager what happened as soon as you can (i.e. after you have carried your child out in front of you to the bathroom, opened the door with your foot, rinsed her in the sink, and changed her into an all-new outfit from your bag consisting of too-small pants from the previous winter and her older sister’s dress).  Apologize profusely.  The manager at Panera is especially understanding – and did you know that their carpet actually consists of little tiles that come up for individual cleaning?  Again, just hypothetically speaking. 

3)  Take your child to the potty the instant you arrive at a place where you would rather she not pee on the floor.  Especially if you’re planning to take her right after you order and there’s a long line, or slow service, or one person who turns out to have an extremely detailed and complicated order.

4)  Buy pet spray.  It has magic anti-pee enzymes in it that make your rugs smell better when the worst happens.  They don’t seem to sell potty-training spray, but someone should.  They could charge double.

5)   Bring a portable potty everywhere you go.  I like the Potette brand.  Break it out often.  Also bring lots of wipes and changes of clothes.

6) If you’re visiting someone’s home, warn them in advance if your child is in underwear and you’re not 100% confident of their control.  Make sure it’s really, really ok that your child stays in underwear and they’re not just being polite.  Especially if your host has wall-to-wall carpets.  Bring an extra diaper or Pull-up just in case – even if it sets potty-training back a few days, it’s cheaper than paying for a carpet cleaner, and easier than finding a new friend. 

7)  When necessary, use Pull-ups.  See above.

8)   Play in the grassy areas of the parks.  If you don’t mind your child stepping where dogs peed, they won’t mind stepping where she does.

9) If mortification and public embarrassment is just not your style, stay home for a few weeks or months until your child is trained.  Or

10)  Hold off on potty training as long as humanly possible and just keep buying bigger diapers.  They go up to size 7 now.