Scotland Yard: Cheap Drinks, Rock 'n Roll

Stepping into , with its bright red Euro-style phone booth outside, you may think you are stepping into an episode of Doctor Who, but it’s actually more of a dark, divey basement bar. Actually, despite it running for about fifty years, I’ve never seen an episode of Doctor Who, so who knows, it could totally be a sci-fi series about a dark, divey basement bar.

Anyway, Scotland Yard looks like a super old-timey European pub from the outside, which I love. Inside, you walk down a few stairs (this could be very dangerous if you have had too much to drink) to the horseshoe-shaped front bar. Here’s where Scotland Yard hosts live bands, but every time I’ve been there it has unfortunately been quiet.

In the back is another bar, with a beer pong table, of course. I run into a lot of people who call these “Beirut” tables, but it’s like, come on, don’t even try to class up the world’s lamest drinking game. Oh yeah, there’s a foosball table, too. You know.

When my friends and I showed up last week (), the bar was busy enough, but definitely nowhere near packed.  The music was a mix of alternative rock (Pearl Jam, Blind Melon, Nirvana), which made for a chill evening.

I stuck with a whiskey-ginger, which wasn’t as strong as 's, but at $4, I really couldn’t complain. One of my friends got a Yuengling, and at $2, it was as good a deal as we had ever found around these parts before. There’s signs up for $5 vodka Redbull’s, which I guess is pretty cheap, if that’s your thing.

Other beers offered at Scotland Yard are Pabst Blue Ribbon, Brooklyn Brewery, Boddington’s, Hoegaarden, Harp, Smithwicks, Sam Adams, Heineken, Miller, Magner’s cider and something that I tried to type into my phone that was garbled into “jmodeling.” I have no idea what I was trying to write.

I was dismayed to see plastic cups near the beer taps, though. I mean, sure they are (I mean Beirut), but I am seriously keeping my fingers crossed that no bartender actually serves drinks out of plastic cups. Definitely feel free to argue with me in the comments, call me pretentious or whatever, but I feel like that’s a cardinal sin of a bar. If you feel like your patrons are too sloppy to deal with glass, well, then you have some work to do! But I’ll give Scotland Yard the benefit of the doubt and assume they were for beer ponging purposes, and drop the matter.

The décor of Scotland Yard is a bit old-school pub, a bit rock ‘n roll dive bar. I like both of those elements. Inside, the walls are brick, the wood is dark, and English-style streetlamps and Christmas lights provide a dim glow. Old beer ads and UK street signs line the walls (my favorite, in the ladies’ room, is an old Guinness ad that depicts a trout beating a lobster and a crab with a pickle – I don’t get it either, but I want it).

In all, I will grace the bar with seven out of ten frosty mugs. It’s nice to have a decent bar downtown and near the PATH, for weary commuters to pop in and grab a super cheap beer. You can also order food from across the street. Points only deducted because beer pong tables usually mean frat boys, and though the night I stopped by was pretty chill, I’m sure the weekend nights are a whole other story. But anyway, if you like spending very few dollars and don’t want to deal with watered down “dollar mugs,” Scotland Yard is most definitely your place.