Crocadile Dungaree

With all this talk about Black Friday and Cyber Monday, how could I resist posting a story about a past Christmas gift that my son received.  Do your best  Wayne and Garth flashback sounds and hand gestures and let the story unfold.........

G’day mates!  It's a cold day outside here on the great north face.  Bitter cold.  In the teens.  Cold enough to most certainly freeze your butt off.  Fortunately, our story does not take place outside, but in a nice 68 degree room.  This is no ordinary room. But a room full of danger at every turn. One step in the wrong direction, and WHAM!  You’ll be flat on the floor.  Toys!  Yeah.  I said, toys.  Everywhere!  Like the local Toys 'R' Us just exploded in my house.  (Sorry I couldn't do the backwards "R".  I'll work on it.)  Our adventure takes place here in the un-awesome expanse of the 400 sq.ft. living room outback.  (Whoa!  Some wallabies just wallowed by.)

And there!  Over there!  Look!  That is the target of our exploration.  Look at the beast lined with flexible metal support.  A real canopied beauty.  But, don’t be fooled by her sheen fabric skin.  One false move and, snap!  She will collapse around your head and eat you up for breakfast.  The stakes are certainly high here.

Sssh.  Need to be quiet while I canvas the situation.  Creeping closer.  She is in full view now.  Almost within arm’s reach.  The dreaded collapsible tent beast.  Rare in these parts.  I’ve been in-tent-sly watching this inanimate creature sit in my living room since Christmas day.  A gift.  Yeah, a gift I say.  A gift to test this not-so-wild adventurer and his patience survival skills.   But, the time has come at last, mate.  The time to close and throw that tent onto the barbie (not THE Barbie, but barbie as in barbecue.  I know better than to irk Ken).

Armed with nothing but a kangaroo-sized pouch to stuff this bulky beast into, I sneak closer.  Then, grabbing for the the top of the tent…….Crikey!!!! She’s eating my arm……struggling to fold her down..and stuff her in the pouch.  Crikey clambake!!  My foot is now ensnared within the Velcro ties of the beast’s flap.   DINGO!! Most of my body is ensnared now.  Only my head is outside.  Breathing deep.  Taking in the air while I can get it.  Struggling.  Wriggling to get free.  ALAS!  I have escaped her grip.  Free at last!  Panting.  Trying to catch my breath.

You win for now, collapsible tent.  Just for now. I will be back for s'more and to fold you up and to store you away.  Enjoy your stay camped out in my living room.  Next year, I hope that Santa brings nothing but Coleman.  (Get it? Coleman as in coal man).

Life........ live it to it's full in-tent-sity!