The Wrath of Grain

Warning: Don’t take this story with a grain of rice! 

Home: The final frontier (at the end of the work day)
These are the voyages of the Homeship, Eatmorefries
Its who-knows-how-many-year mission
To enjoy strange new foods
To seek out new games and new crayons
To boldly go where no spork has gone before

Captain’s log.  Stardate 090811.  This is Captain J.J. Quirk of the Homeship Eatmorefries. Our mission to successfully indulge in a stir-fried dinner with steamed rice at Space Station Dinner Table has been completed, but not without some difficulty. 

Our sticky situation started upon the clearing of the dinner table. On my trek to the kitchen sink, I stepped on something gummy. I lifted my foot to discover that a piece of runaway rice was stuck to the bottom. I proceeded to remove the mushy grain and toss it into the trash can. It didn’t phase me at this point that this would only be the short of the long of it.

As I got to the sink to unload my dish, I looked down at my hand—and there it was again! That blasted piece of rice never made it into the garbage. It was now sticking to my hand. I flung the grainy critter into the sink. Or so I thought. The white beast was now ‘klinging on’ to my pants. Now I was stunned. I was having a mind-meld down.

During this entire episode, I was observed by my away team. The youngest crew member—our Rockin’ Out Officer had been trying to suggest a solution to this debacle. I then decided to listen to the advice once give to me by Dr. Spock (no, not Mr. Spock of Star Trek fame, but Dr. Spock of child care fame).  This advice was that wise words are often spoken by our children. So, to my chagrin, I turned to my youngest crew member and asked him for his advice.  He spoke only two words to me.  “Paper Towel.” He picked up a paper towel and wiped the sticky alien creature off of my pants and discarded it into the trash can.  Mission accomplished!

This is a lesson that will forever be ingrained into my head.  

Steam me up, Uncle Benny.

Life… “live long and prosper.”

(my thanks to Gene Roddenberry for his world of Star Trek and its inspiration.)