THINGS YOU WILL NEED TO GET RID OF LICE

Contact a Lice Lifters Treatment Center near you.and the liquor store or anywhere they sell War on Lice s!?!. Links attached. You’re welcome:

1) The Nit Nanny Products  Don’t get the generic stuff or the stuff from the drug store, it doesn’t work. And when your mom tells you to mix bleach, ammonia and Listerine, kindly remind her that that is called a Molotov cocktail and tell her that you have to go because Dr. Oz is on.

“Ya know, when I had the lice as a kid, my mother sprayed me with a firehose, soaked my hair in cod liver oil, wrapped my head in cellophane and sent me to school.”

2)  A good friend. Your husband will be about as useful during this shitshow as he was while planning your wedding. Go ahead and say that your husband helped plan your wedding and I’ll punch you in the mouth. You’ll need a friend (preferably one that can see) to help find the microscopic nits that are the exact color of your child’s hair while you’re crying in the bathtub, wearing a do rag, listening to Joni Mitchell with a bottle of Pinot Grigio in one hand and waving a gun around in the other. 

Seriously.

3) The Nit Nanny Lice Solution

4) The Nit Nanny Comb and Mousse Removal Get a few of these. Your husband can help you. BWAHAHAHAHA. The plastic ones that come with most kits are rubbish. Toss em.

6.) The Nit Nanny Mint Detangler Spray This stuff smells great but like pure gasoline to lice. The lice hate it. 

7) Contact www.licelifter.com with any questions.