Guilty Pleasures

A few weeks ago, I began a very strict, no-wiggle-room diet that forbids me to eat most foods.  Yeah, it's fun.  No carbs, no processed food, and a promise that YOU WILL NOT CHEAT.  That’s tough for me because I enjoy eating...mindless eating, which is what lead to my excessive girth in the first place.  Now, since food is out of the picture, I’ve had to find other “guilty pleasures” to amuse myself with. 

Here’s what I’ve come up with.  Feel free to fall asleep if they’re too boring, roll your eyes if they’re too silly, but consider what YOUR real guilty pleasures are.  Oh, and these are in no particular order.

1. Online word games – I discovered www.pogo.com where you can play for free with these annoying ads or pay a small fee to kill the ads.  I can now play Scrabble or QWERTY against people from all over the world...or allegedly from all over the world, since you never know.  And I’ve learned that not being able to spell does not stop some people from playing Scrabble anyway.
2. My kids’ television shows – Yes, I know The Disney Channel is one enormous ad forthe largest media conglomerate in the world, but some of the shows on there make me smile.  I know several of the premises behind the shows are completely stupid (multiracial twins who find out they’re the kings of a remote island which one can only get to via hot air balloon?! – yeah, that could happen), but I’m not looking for Mensa-level entertainment. 
3. QVC and The Home Shopping Network – You’ve got to admire channels devoted to capitalism and caffeine-overdosing hosts who can spend 5 minutes effusively praising items which include $238 trash cans, Red Hot Mamas Menopause Rescue Kit ($12.20), and MedFolio Medication Management Device State-Of-The-Art Pillbox ($224).  You can actually find these items at www.qvc.com.
4. Catalogs – When I was growing up, I used to love pouring over the items in the S&H Green Stamps catalog (did you know they were named after Sperry & Hutchinson, a firm that ran rewards programs to get customers into stores?).  It’s still fun to look over catalogs and see some of the quirky things people will supposedly purchase (see above).  Besides, as a former Marketing professional, it’s fun to see how descriptions are worded to persuade people to buy.
5. http://freerice.com – Getting back to my passion for word games, this site offers quizzes on different subjects.  For every answer you get right, they donate 10 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program to help end hunger.  10 grains doesn’t sound like much, but with a lot of people playing, the results are awesome. 
6. Fingerpainting – There’s something delicious about plunging your fingers in paint and wantonly gliding them around a blank piece of paper.  Long ago I gave up the notion of my painting having to “look like” something.  Now it’s just about the visceral pleasure of the activity.
7. Listening to The Partridge Family – The actors were awful, the music completely contrived, and the plots as transparent  as my contact lens, but the show brings back memories of Tiger Beat Magazine and the thrill of holding hands with a boy for the first time.  Magic!
8. Taking the garbage out at night – When the Witching Hour hits (and often I am the witch), it’s a relief to seek refuge from the circus people I live with and take the garbage out to the curb very s-l-o-w-l-y.  The quiet of the outside is in sharp contrast to the tension inside as I try to get Rock-Em-Sock-Em  kids who don’t want to go to bed, off to Dreamland.
9. San Pellegrino Mineral Water – Seltzer is seltzer is seltzer.  But put it in a pretty bottle, serve it in restaurants, and it becomes special.
10. www.silverjewelryclub.com –  They claim it’s free, but you do pay shipping and handling of $6.99.  Still, good quality silver jewelry for that price is amazing.  The catch – they only have what they show.  So if you see a ring in size 7 and you’re a 5, you’re out of luck.

Again, feel free use this as a jumping off point to think about your own guilty pleasures.  Are they healthy or not?  And if not, can you tweak them so they are? 

Gotta go now.  I’m planning on fingerpainting while listening to The Partridge Family and sipping some San Pellegrino – AFTER I take the garbage out.  Bad, Mommy!  Bad!