To Be, Oh What To Be

Halloween costumes have been in the stores for months now, to the excitement of some and chagrin of others (mostly mothers).   For some kids, the choice of costume is a major decision consuming many hours of much brainpower that could, instead, have been spent on video games. 

If my kids have been thinking about their costumes, they’ve kept blessedly quiet until last week.  They wisely know not to approach me with costume ideas involving:   

A) Violence – I won’t even consider a costume involving blood, zombies, or mutilated body parts.  Simulated decapitation is not entertainment.  

B) Harlot-Wear – My daughter knows that showing too much of certain body parts is unacceptable.  Case in point: a few years ago a bunch of 6 year olds showed up at my door wearing make-up, hot pants and bikini tops.  I think they were pretending to be pop stars, but I couldn’t believe that parents would let these kids parade around in outfits streetwalkers would wear. 

C) Cumbersome Parts – A costume that is uncomfortable for the kid is a pain for the parent who will invariably be tailing the child with either comfortable shoes or the offending articles such as fake hair, wings, sports equipment, etc. 

D)  Overly Expensive Costumes – I don’t care if your friends are dressing up in $100 costumes.  It’s Halloween, not your wedding.  You’ll make do on the cheap. 

I’ve fashioned my children Halloween get-ups with mostly positive, but sometimes mixed results.  The scarecrow outfit Junior wore when he was a toddler was a big hit.  The ghost outfit he wore as a baby was not.  It had a somewhat pointed cap that made my baby look more like a Klansman than an apparition; I had to write “GHOST” across the chest to make sure people understood that I was not endorsing the KKK. 

The knight costume he wore was popular, especially the horse I made out of an oversized candy cane Christmas decoration.  And the mermaid costume I fashioned for the Diva out of an old sundress was stunning.  Of course, when she volunteered me to make similar costumes for three of her closest friends, I had to say “no.”  I only slave over a hot glue gun for hours for my own kid – not her friends. 

This year, My Favorite Kindergartener originally wanted to be the Disney version of Rapunzel.  While I have nothing but admiration for this princess who is intelligent and independent (as opposed to Sleeping Beauty who does NOTHING), it’s hard for me to watch my radiant Asian daughter salivate over blond heroines.  Besides, the costume is at least $30 and mommy is a necessary tightwad.  Diva eventually decided, on her own, to be a fairy (“They do more than princesses, Mom,” she said. Honey, I thought, slugs do more than some ‘princesses’).

While I made plans to head over to Toys-R-Us to purchase fairy necessities, she found them on one of our many runs to The Dollar Store and we nailed the orange fairy outfit for a mere $3.  Now, that’s my kind of costume.

My tween son wants to be an Army guy, a noble profession.   We went to Wal-Mart where I purchased him camouflage pants and a shirt which he’ll wear several times after Halloween.  While we’re still looking for an army helmet, I put my foot down when he asked me to get him a realistic-looking toy rifle.  Just in case we don’t find the helmet, I would prefer he not trick-or-treat looking like a terrorist.  And, sadly, the world has changed from when I was growing up and a kid cannot carry around a realistic-looking guy without getting everyone around him up in arms (pun intended). 

Both costumes will look great for the big day when, after the first five minutes of admiring costumes, the real focus of the day is how much sugar each kid can score in two hours.  And get up required the family to file for bankruptcy.  Now the children can begin their next holiday “chores” – figuring out what they want for Hanukkah and Christmas (we celebrate both).  The Toys-R-Us catalog should be arriving any time now...