Russ's Ravings: I Have No Right To Talk About George Floyd

Editor's note: The following is Patch Field Editor Russ Crespolini's, hopefully, weekly column. It is reflective of his opinion alone.

Has it ever been this bad before? In our country? In our communities and in our homes?I don't know. And I don't feel as if I have the right to say.

Because I grew up a straight white male in a middle class suburb. So what do I know about struggle? What do I know about hardship? It turns out, very little.

The COVID-19 pandemic and the death of George Floyd has brought to light many of the inequities and injustices in our system. It has shined a light on what happens when there is moral vacuum in positions of power. It has shown us that there is so much work to be done.

I am not qualified to speak of this struggle. I am a straight white man of modest intelligence. People don't glare suspiciously at me when I am in a park in my town like they do my daughter's godfather, a black man from the Bronx.

I don't have to fear for my life or my safety or that I will be sexually assaulted if I decide to take a walk at night like so many women do.

I don't have to fear if my college education will matter because my parents aren't citizens and my own path to citizenship isn't complete.

Who am I to talk about George Floyd?

Has it ever been this bad before in our country? I certainly don't remember it being this way. But how in the hell would I know? If it was I most likely wouldn't have noticed.

And that is on me.

Everyone is so desperate for someone to blame. On the same day that the rallies, vigils and protests were happening across the country there was an incident of bias that happened in the community I live in. On social media students targeted an African American girl with their vitriol. A similar incident was mentioned online in Long Valley.

While the act was universally condemned, the need for finger pointing immediately appeared. Now it was the school district at fault. Now for context, in my community there are a handful of parents who believe the school district is responsible for the bad weather than delayed the launch for the International Space Station, so that kind of thing is nothing new. Anything to push their agenda.

But this was a widely repeated sentiment. That the school district, which did exactly what it was supposed to do, was at fault. They contacted the police, they turned over the investigation to them and will be pursuing discipline as outlined by the state.

And part of those outlines is that such discipline is done quietly. So pointing fingers there is useless. But the fact of the matter is, if anyone wants to point fingers on this issue, just like they do with other hot button issues like school shootings and school safety, and now the death of George Floyd, start by turning the finger toward yourself.

We don't have answers. No one does. We have years of fractured rights and socioeconomic imbalances being thrown back in our face as the bandages we've tried to cover them up with are ripped off. And no one knows what to do next.

We hold vigils. We hold rallies. We write columns. We blame others.

But if anything is going to change, if anything is going to be different we have to start by looking at ourselves. Where do we, as individuals, fit into all this and how can we be better.

I was content to believe that because I am not racist, I was doing fine.

I wasn't. And I am not.

I have to do better. I have to be better. We all do. So I am going to find out how I can bridge this gap of understanding. How I can make it so everyone can feel the same security in their own skin as I do.

I don't know how yet. But when I figure out I'll tell you.

In the meantime, anyone who knows how, please help me.

Russ Crespolini is a Field Editor for Patch Media, adjunct professor and college newspaper advisor. His columns have won awards from the National Newspaper Association and the New Jersey Press Association.

He writes them in hopes of connecting with readers and engaging with them. And because it is cheaper than therapy. He can be reached at russ.crespolini@patch.com